Little things that annoy you.

Walking down Smokey Brae, it becomes single file, and you give way to a punter, and they don't even grunt at you when you give way. It's not all the time, but the guy yesterday, cretin.
People that say you know what I mean every sentence.
People that tell you that they're pretty
People with crap handshakes
Charging anything
When you're with someone you barely know and say see you after a meeting and end up walking the next 5 mins with them down the road
When you go to someone's house, and they have art all over their walls in their flat, and they say I hate it all, and ask you what you think?
The Celtic punter I know. MON THE HIBEES!!!!!!!
Just a update on recent events in Lord Figgate's life
 
'and most of all that voiceover guy that does the "Big Saaaaaaaaale". Fuckin idiot.'

Almost spat my beer out there Doc!
np : Snapped Ankles 'Stunning Luxury'
 
sympathies extended. Monstrous things though it must be more than 25 years since I was last afflicted (odd as I’d associate it with aging) but it’s unforgettable. Second only to bad toothache perhaps, and even then I’m not sure.
 
Ah! The metric miles.
Dukes.
An old boss of mine had his operated on.
He came back to work after a week.
He was told a months rest.
He had frequent visits to the bog which were outside under a staircase.
My journeyman( who didn't really like the boss) went into the toilet ,unrolled the shithouse paper, and rubbed it with loft insulation.
He had 2 months off after that.
 
Ah! The metric miles.
Dukes.
An old boss of mine had his operated on.
He came back to work after a week.
He was told a months rest.
He had frequent visits to the bog which were outside under a staircase.
My journeyman( who didn't really like the boss) went into the toilet ,unrolled the shithouse paper, and rubbed it with loft insulation.
He had 2 months off after that.
Clenching buttocks just reading that.
Downright evil.
 
Just back from a day out with the wife, chilling with a red wine, a beautiful, in my eyes, Thai woman and waiting on the match. The following will give you an idea of my day so far....
ENGLISH breakfast....a fry up.
ENGLISH breakfast tea...tea
ENGLAND...Britain
ENGLISH pound...the pound

Hurry up and fuck off home ENGLISH tourists.

Do Scots, Irish, Welsh speak this way?
 
Just back from a day out with the wife, chilling with a red wine, a beautiful, in my eyes, Thai woman and waiting on the match. The following will give you an idea of my day so far....
ENGLISH breakfast....a fry up.
ENGLISH breakfast tea...tea
ENGLAND...Britain
ENGLISH pound...the pound

Hurry up and fuck off home ENGLISH tourists.

Do Scots, Irish, Welsh speak this way?

Yes.
I think a lot of us tell English tourists to fuck off home.
 
Just back from a day out with the wife, chilling with a red wine, a beautiful, in my eyes, Thai woman and waiting on the match. The following will give you an idea of my day so far....
ENGLISH breakfast....a fry up.
ENGLISH breakfast tea...tea
ENGLAND...Britain
ENGLISH pound...the pound

Hurry up and fuck off home ENGLISH tourists.

Do Scots, Irish, Welsh speak this way?
Prefer a full Scottish breakfast tbh , add in fried bread, haggis pls
 
Another political bullshit statement is. "No one individual is at fault, it's a collective failure of the system." Usually wheeled out after an inquiry, where thousands of taxpayer's money was spent on the iinvestigation.
 
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National Anthem's.
The ones that are a dirge - like England’s, I agree but La Marseillaise is a stirring tune as is Il Canto Degli Italiani.
As for ourselves, I’d prefer Scotland The Brave, not so much the lyrics but the tune gets the blood pumping more than the Roy Williamson folk song
 
When you're out and about and need to take a shit somewhere and someone tries the handle and then knocks on the door... WTF is all that about! The doors locked, someone's inside taking a shit more than likely. You knock on doors for people to answer and greet you, invite you in for a cuppa or something, not to help me wipe my arse or get the play by play!
 
When smart tube stops working and you try and reinstall it and it still doesn't work.

But then the good folk at swampdogs fix it for you in seconds. 😁

If it happens to ye then the advice is to turn off your VPN and reinstall. Sorted.