Little things that annoy you.

Forums New posts
greencol said:
Cyclists on roads!
When there is a cycle path running alongside.
Click to expand...
Last week I had a prick, in the cycle lane, in front of me pulled out because the cyclist in front of him was going slower than him. Thank fuck I was only doing 20 or I wid have hit him. Gave him a blast of my horn and called him a stupid cvnt as I passed him. Wanker.
 
Cyclists on the A71. You're supposed to overtake a cyclist as if they were a car, ie pull fully into the opposite lane. That road at rush hour is busy both directions and windy so there is no chance to overtake properly. Cue tailback of pissed off drivers. And I speak as a cyclist. Would never go on that road at the best of times
 
Sancho Panza said:
Cyclists on the A71. You're supposed to overtake a cyclist as if they were a car, ie pull fully into the opposite lane. That road at rush hour is busy both directions and windy so there is no chance to overtake properly. Cue tailback of pissed off drivers. And I speak as a cyclist. Would never go on that road at the best of times
Click to expand...
As a fellow cyclist I tend to avoid busy roads but, if I’m aware of traffic behind me, I tend to pull up on to the verge and let them pass. On the whole I find motorists to be courteous and that works both ways.
 
blue toon hibby said:
As a fellow cyclist I tend to avoid busy roads but, if I’m aware of traffic behind me, I tend to pull up on to the verge and let them pass. On the whole I find motorists to be courteous and that works both ways.
Click to expand...
Air horns are good for giving a gentle greeting.....
 
hibbybilly said:
Last week I had a prick, in the cycle lane, in front of me pulled out because the cyclist in front of him was going slower than him. Thank fuck I was only doing 20 or I wid have hit him. Gave him a blast of my horn and called him a stupid cvnt as I passed him. Wanker.
Click to expand...
Cyclist's need to read the Road Safety Act. It applies to the pavement too.
 
When you're in baynes and u have a time wasting twat in front of you

Twat: can I get a roll n square sausage
Server: no problem

Puts it together pops it on a bag and hands it over.

Twat: can I get sauce on it
Server: what kind
Twat: em rid

Comes back with roll and hands it over
Server: anything else
Twat: can I get a yum yum
Server: there you go
Twat: can I get a latte

Why not just fucking ask for a roll n sausage, a yum yum and a fucking latte at the same time
 
Slippery kaboosh said:
When you're in baynes and u have a time wasting twat in front of you

Twat: can I get a roll n square sausage
Server: no problem

Puts it together pops it on a bag and hands it over.

Twat: can I get sauce on it
Server: what kind
Twat: em rid

Comes back with roll and hands it over
Server: anything else
Twat: can I get a yum yum
Server: there you go
Twat: can I get a latte

Why not just fucking ask for a roll n sausage, a yum yum and a fucking latte at the same time
Click to expand...
In a similar vein, women (normally older ones) at the checkout in front of you, who pack their purchases neatly into their pull along shopping trolley, that looks like one of those small suitcases and only then start rummaging through their copious handbag, that has everything but the kitchen sink in it, to find their purse and pay in loose change where they’re always 1p short but insist they have it somewhere in the purse.
Then, as a hundred people in the queue lose the will to live, the cashier asks………..Have you got a club card? 🧨
 
Beagle said:
In a similar vein, women (normally older ones) at the checkout in front of you, who pack their purchases neatly into their pull along shopping trolley, that looks like one of those small suitcases and only then start rummaging through their copious handbag, that has everything but the kitchen sink in it, to find their purse and pay in loose change where they’re always 1p short but insist they have it somewhere in the purse.
Then, as a hundred people in the queue lose the will to live, the cashier asks………..Have you got a club card? 🧨
Click to expand...
And she says, can you wait a minute love, I’ve left it in my car 🤣
 
Beagle said:
Fortunately my missus has never seen any of my ex girlfriends. Not that she would be inferior to any of them anyway………….except maybe the one that was a spitting image of Cheryl Baker in her Eurovision Song Contest performance. 🔥
Click to expand...
just tell her you made your mind up.
 
Beagle said:
In a similar vein, women (normally older ones) at the checkout in front of you, who pack their purchases neatly into their pull along shopping trolley, that looks like one of those small suitcases and only then start rummaging through their copious handbag, that has everything but the kitchen sink in it, to find their purse and pay in loose change where they’re always 1p short but insist they have it somewhere in the purse.
Then, as a hundred people in the queue lose the will to live, the cashier asks………..Have you got a club card? 🧨
Click to expand...
Infuriating. Same with folk in a bus q. Bus arrives and they don't have their pass or money ready so hold up the q while they rummage to find it. When you see the bus coming just be ready. It's not feckin rocket science. Also folk so busy on their phones don't notice their bus has come and when you walk past them in the q get stroppy with you. Grrrr.
 
Birthdays for work colleagues. It's a weird practice here. Somebody in the office is having a birthday and a card goes round the office for everyone to sign. I hate when I'm sitting at my desk in the middle of something for somebody to interrupt me to "sign the card". Really, I have to stop work, right now to sign this piece of cardboard? And then later we all have to gather round in the lunch room and sign that dirge "Happy Birthday To You" and present the card. FFS!!! People will say to me, "Oh, you don't celebrate birthdays, why not?" BECAUSE I'M A F*****G ADULT!"

Is it just me? It maybe is.
 
BurbankHibee said:
Birthdays for work colleagues. It's a weird practice here. Somebody in the office is having a birthday and a card goes round the office for everyone to sign. I hate when I'm sitting at my desk in the middle of something for somebody to interrupt me to "sign the card". Really, I have to stop work, right now to sign this piece of cardboard? And then later we all have to gather round in the lunch room and sign that dirge "Happy Birthday To You" and present the card. FFS!!! People will say to me, "Oh, you don't celebrate birthdays, why not?" BECAUSE I'M A F*****G ADULT!"

Is it just me? It maybe is.
Click to expand...
Back at the dawn of time i had a colleague who knew how to deal with these things. Another colleague was in hospital and one of these supersized cards went round as described, with people writing inspiring couplets and sugary sentiments.

Apart from the simple eloquence of my colleague:

"You're still a cnut"
 
Used to be all the rage at my work. Thankfully faded now. Cost me a fortune everytime someone left for a new job. Bet I get feck all when I leave.🤣🤣
 
egb_hibs said:
Back at the dawn of time i had a colleague who knew how to deal with these things. Another colleague was in hospital and one of these supersized cards went round as described, with people writing inspiring couplets and sugary sentiments.

Apart from the simple eloquence of my colleague:

"You're still a cnut"
Click to expand...
Had a similar experience when I left British gas. I got a massive card and all the usual "you'll be missed", "all the best", "keep in touch" etc etc.

Near the top right corner was a few isolated words. "Fuck you. Stevie"

Made me proper laugh out loud!!! 🤣
 
I wrote on one such card it's a pity your leaving just as I get to like you after years of being a pain in the arse.🤣
 
Scary that a beautiful woman like gwyneth paltrow takes botox so much that her face hardly moves when she's talking. Can't imagine she was body shamed much so why do it. Lip filler just obscene.
 
Sancho Panza said:
Young lassies and women with lip filler. It's such a horrible look and does nothing for them. Looks even worse from the side; like two large slugs attached to their mouth. Like so many things nowadays it's porn aesthetic filtered through influencers like the Kardashians and TikTok.
Click to expand...
How many do you see that actually look better? I've not personally seen any. They all seem to overdo it. Shirley seeing what it looks like on others should be enough to stop anyone else.
 
Oh so much the gift to gee us,to see ourselves as others see us. Not that I give a flying one on the most part mind you.🤣
 
Last edited:
Sancho Panza said:
Young lassies and women with lip filler. It's such a horrible look and does nothing for them. Looks even worse from the side; like two large slugs attached to their mouth. Like so many things nowadays it's porn aesthetic filtered through influencers like the Kardashians and TikTok.
Click to expand...
Two slugs on their mouths and two hairy caterpillars on their eyes. Looks anything but natural. As for butt lifts, yuk.
 
egb_hibs said:
Back at the dawn of time i had a colleague who knew how to deal with these things. Another colleague was in hospital and one of these supersized cards went round as described, with people writing inspiring couplets and sugary sentiments.

Apart from the simple eloquence of my colleague:

"You're still a cnut"
Click to expand...
I worked with this Canadian guy who was a total knob, the only Canadian to date that I've not got on with. Anyway, when he left, there was a girl in the place who got a card for him. She said to me, you won't want to sign it. No, no, give it here, and I wrote at the top of the card beside all the best wishes for him. I hope you get laid real soon.



The same with going into a place you've been for 5 minutes and having to chip in for someone. Twice this has happened. First there was a girl who was going on maternity leave. This girl didn't say a word to me and when I found out she lived in the same town she said she'd rather take the train than take a lift from me and another when I started working at this place and this punter was leaving, I didn't even know him! Chip in for them. I really don't think so.



Also, I had a leaving do for 2 girls and our firm went for a meal. There was a card going round, so I signed something nice for one of them as I thought she was a good laugh for the other. I couldn't care a single f*@k about it, and she saw what I had written. She came up and said" You don't like me, do you, ah FFS. She was horrible and hateful. She wasn't my boss, but was always bitching and moaning and being smart. She absolutely loved herself, the type that gets into the shower to do her hair only.



Aye, anyway, I'm with you on all that pish, secret Santa, card signing, all the best pish.
 
Sancho Panza said:
Young lassies and women with lip filler. It's such a horrible look and does nothing for them. Looks even worse from the side; like two large slugs attached to their mouth.
Click to expand...
Some of them have a face like a baboons arse.
 
Wishbone said:
This only seems to happen when you are looking for a name in the cast or a song title in the soundtrack.
Click to expand...
Or just enjoying the atmosphere of a cliffhanger or tearjerker ending, listening to the music when suddenly...COMING UP NEXT!! Fuck. Off.
 
Waiting waiting waiting for a dodgy sports stream to kick in, waiting waiting... then finally giving up and clicking on 'cancel' -- two milliseconds after a crystal clear HD stream suddenly comes online.

Further efforts to reconnect are then futile.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
  • Menu
  • Home
  • Hibs Chat
  • New Posts
  • Just Back
  • Chatroom