You get awarded a gaff in three places in the world. Where would you pick?

Forums New posts
egb_hibs

egb_hibs

Private Member
Joined
Jul 2, 2002
So much serious stuff on the board, with me among the guiltiest. Fuck that shit. Let’s say a genie out a bottle let’s you get a nice pad in three locations around the world, where would you pick?

I will go for:

- a nice lake fronted gaff in the Lake District. It’s my favourite place on earth and with only one gaff allocated it would be this one. I’d walk in the hills, pootle around on a boat, and probably post shit on here about poetry and the brotherhood of man, rather than impending shit shows.

- second would be Roma, greatest city on earth. Specially I’ll go for a generously size first floor flat (don’t want people pissing on my door but also no higher than a survivable balcony fall in the event of too much vino - ie I’m a pussy when it comes to heights) with a balcony and in a complex with a courtyard, in Trastevere, where I would spend my nights in the cafes and Trattorias talking about AS Roma, Georgia Meloni’s melons, and trying to perfect my gesticulations.

- third is a big gap and I’m a lot less sure: but I think probably Miami or NYC. Decisions decisions…ok Roma provides the sun, so New York, somewhere in Manhattan near a good Irish bar, though I appreciate the best ones will be in Brooklyn or Queens probably. I surely don’t have to explain NYC, so I’ll just round off with it would be Jets, Mets and Nets, obviously.

I don’t think you could get a less original schemey line up unless I stuck Ibiza or Benidorm in. Looking forward to more cultivated bouncers suggesting Asian enclaves or obscure corners of mitteleuropa, but let’s see.

What would you choose?
 
Somewhere off track in the Highlands, dunno where, somewhere away from everyone else. Still need to find the right place.
I'd keep bees and pan for gold 😁

Thats the lottery plan, so as a freebie that would be the plan. Probably still need to work though eh? Would put a spanner in the works. Wonder how many bees I'd need to sell enough wax and honey to sustain my hermit ambitions 🤔

I'd give my mum and sister their choices with the other 2, I wouldn't use them.

First reply. Nae culture here 😅
 
For the avoidance of doubt since @Hammi raises it, we are magically not having to worry about work here. If someone wants to pick some artists quarter somewhere so they can be inspired to work on their novel, fine. But we are not limited to being able to nip round to the office or to fix someone’s central heating.
 
egb_hibs said:
For the avoidance of doubt since @Hammi raises it, we are magically not having to worry about work here. If someone wants to pick some artists quarter somewhere so they can be inspired to work on their novel, fine. But we are not limited to being able to nip round to the office or to fix someone’s central heating.
Click to expand...

In that case,
Me, the hills, my bees, probably a doggo, lotsa rum, knee deep in the rivers prospecting.

Perfect.
 
Hammi said:
In that case,
Me, the hills, my bees, probably a doggo, lotsa rum, knee deep in the rivers prospecting.

Perfect.
Click to expand...
I feel a bit unpartriotic about my preference for the lake district over the highlands, but the reason is this: I think Scotland’s landscape is unbeatable but the human settlements within it are pish compared to large chunks of the English countryside. Rain stained pebble dash and glowering pubs. It’s not really monarch of the glen.

If someone can recommend to me a corner of Scotland that has the landscape but nice villages and pubs (and which isn’t the neuk of fife full of slab faced rugby types and London bankers ) I’d genuinely love to hear it.
 
1. I'd have a gaff in Manhattan. Everything there you'd ever need. barry.
2. I'll go with Tel Aviv. Probably not the best in current circumstances, but a top top city.
3. A villa somewhere on the Mexican Riviera. Tequila and Sunshine & a top scran.
 
barney said:
1. I'd have a gaff in Manhattan. Everything there you'd ever need. barry.
2. I'll go with Tel Aviv. Probably not the best in current circumstances, but a top top city.
3. A villa somewhere on the Mexican Riviera. Tequila and Sunshine & a top scran.
Click to expand...
Never been to Israel, would love to go. Never been to Mexico, too scared to go. Lol
 
egb_hibs said:
I feel a bit unpartriotic about my preference for the lake district over the highlands, but the reason is this: I think Scotland’s landscape is unbeatable but the human settlements within it are pish compared to large chunks of the English countryside. Rain stained pebble dash and glowering pubs. It’s not really monarch of the glen.

If someone can recommend to me a corner of Scotland that has the landscape but nice villages and pubs (and which isn’t the neuk of fife full of slab faced rugby types and London bankers ) I’d genuinely love to hear it.
Click to expand...
I've spent a fair bit of time in the area between Oban & Lochgilphead and I love it. It's got the lot and the scenery and history are exceptional. Also a great base for visiting the islands and the West coast in general.

IMG_20240117_235920.jpg
 
Peevemor said:
I've spent a fair bit of time in the area between Oban & Lochgilphead and I love it. It's got the lot and the scenery and history are exceptional. Also a great base for visiting the islands and the West coast in general.

View attachment 12938
Click to expand...
Yes but boozers man, boozers. And tbh twee coffee shops, and those weird shops that sell cards and pointless nick nacks where one can park a wife for an hour or so.

I blame Calvinism, and I’m being serious. Rural Scotland seems to me a joyless place.

Edit - and I blame Calvinism on the weather.
 
EH17 Jimmy said:
I'm the somewhere type of lad rather than the anywhere.

I love Edinburgh. The buzz travelling hame from down south and you then see Arthur's Seat in the distance.

Cannae beat it.
Click to expand...
On the day of the year, that is summer, I agree.
 
I'm no a sun lover to be honest. Like it when it's a wee bit drizzly rain.

Get in the hoose and get the heating on. Get deloused then a nice can of beer.

And to top all that off (difficult i know) but a nice plate of mince and tatties with doughboys for ma tea.
 
egb_hibs said:
So much serious stuff on the board, with me among the guiltiest. Fuck that shit. Let’s say a genie out a bottle let’s you get a nice pad in three locations around the world, where would you pick?

I will go for:

- a nice lake fronted gaff in the Lake District. It’s my favourite place on earth and with only one gaff allocated it would be this one. I’d walk in the hills, pootle around on a boat, and probably post shit on here about poetry and the brotherhood of man, rather than impending shit shows.

- second would be Roma, greatest city on earth. Specially I’ll go for a generously size first floor flat (don’t want people pissing on my door but also no higher than a survivable balcony fall in the event of too much vino - ie I’m a pussy when it comes to heights) with a balcony and in a complex with a courtyard, in Trastevere, where I would spend my nights in the cafes and Trattorias talking about AS Roma, Georgia Meloni’s melons, and trying to perfect my gesticulations.

- third is a big gap and I’m a lot less sure: but I think probably Miami or NYC. Decisions decisions…ok Roma provides the sun, so New York, somewhere in Manhattan near a good Irish bar, though I appreciate the best ones will be in Brooklyn or Queens probably. I surely don’t have to explain NYC, so I’ll just round off with it would be Jets, Mets and Nets, obviously.

I don’t think you could get a less original schemey line up unless I stuck Ibiza or Benidorm in. Looking forward to more cultivated bouncers suggesting Asian enclaves or obscure corners of mitteleuropa, but let’s see.

What would you choose?
Click to expand...
Somewhere I highland Stirlingshire/Perthshire/Argyll.
Barcelona ish for a bit heat and a base for various continental football.
Denmark seems to be one of the best places to live.
 
egb_hibs said:
Yes but boozers man, boozers. And tbh twee coffee shops, and those weird shops that sell cards and pointless nick nacks where one can park a wife for an hour or so.

I blame Calvinism, and I’m being serious. Rural Scotland seems to me a joyless place.

Edit - and I blame Calvinism on the weather.
Click to expand...
Unfortunately the best spots attract tourists. In that part of the world that means the risk of shortbread poisoning.

But if you look past that (eg. I never spend much time in Oban) it's fantastic.
 
egb_hibs said:
Never been to Israel, would love to go. Never been to Mexico, too scared to go. Lol
Click to expand...
Jerusalem is probably my favorite destination ever. But Tel Aviv has the proximity to that with the addition of a fabulous night life, restaurants, bars etc. Go, you won't regret it.

As for Mexico, my experience there has been only since I had a few quid (most other places I went when I was young and skint). From that perspective, the All inclusive 5 star resorts are unbelievable. Last one had a private swim up pool to my room. Food was spectacular, and the service was ridiculous. Wee guy (not the chineese yin) walking past every 15 mins asking if I needed another bevvy :)

Made a few trips ootside the resort to see the sights. Always felt safe, felt safer there than for example Egypt.
 
barney said:
Jerusalem is probably my favorite destination ever. But Tel Aviv has the proximity to that with the addition of a fabulous night life, restaurants, bars etc. Go, you won't regret it.

As for Mexico, my experience there has been only since I had a few quid (most other places I went when I was young and skint). From that perspective, the All inclusive 5 star resorts are unbelievable. Last one had a private swim up pool to my room. Food was spectacular, and the service was ridiculous. Wee guy (not the chineese yin) walking past every 15 mins asking if I needed another bevvy :)

Made a few trips ootside the resort to see the sights. Always felt safe, felt safer there than for example Egypt.
Click to expand...
I intend to go to Jerusalem in a few years, when the kids are old enough that it doesn’t matter that much if jihadi Joe blows up my bus. And I intend to go to one of the tattoo shops that has been continuously tatt’ing pilgrims since the crusades or before, and to get a wee mark. Tel Aviv though, I’ve never considered. I now shall.

As for Mexico I’d love to go, and I’m slightly exaggerating the fear, it wouldn’t really put me off. But at the same time, I’m not entirely kidding either. I’m taking the excuse to yet again plug my favourite ever novel, the power of the dog (by don winslow, there are other novels with the same name - I think it comes from the bible). An only just fictionalised account of the backdrop to the drug wars, it is genuinely brilliant and mind blowingly brutal.
 
The Power of the Dug. Just looked it up. There's 3 books in that series?

I may well just buy them to read at my leisure.
 
EH17 Jimmy said:
The Power of the Dug. Just looked it up. There's 3 books in that series?

I may well just buy them to read at my leisure.
Click to expand...
There is. Great trilogy. But while they are all good, the first is the best and can be read stand alone (though the other two can’t really). But you’ll want to read them after the first.

Honestly Jim it goes like a fckn train as well. I predict that if you get to page 30 - by which time you should know if it’s your thing - you’ll get to the end not long after.
 
Aye I'll enjoy them. I like reading most genres. They shall be ordered tonight.

I have 3 books on the go just now but I'll let you know how i got on with The Power of the Dug
 
The reason the first is by far the best is the latter two are pretty much solely focussed on the drug war. The first has a potted history of Central America since the 60s; Opus Dei vs liberation theology wrestling for the soul of Latin America, FARC and the murderous revolucion, cia black ops and the murderous counter revolucion, and then there’s the mafia, Irish mob, Chinese intelligence getting their oar in, thinly fictionalised key events such as the murder of Archbishop Romero. And it also is fascinating on things I think is up your street like it is mine, the nature of the cartels,from the pure venal bams, to much more interesting cranks like the knights Templar with their combo of ultra ultra violence and some quasi missionary vision to save Mexico. I do warn you though you don’t need it, but for the sake of my conscience, some of it is shatteringly cruel and brutal - but never gratuitously, sadly it all happened and it needs to be told.
 
I watch lots of yatube documentaries about the Eastern Front in ww2. I've read lots of memoirs (mainly German because the Russian ones could have been written by Pravda).

The cruelty is mind numbing. But I'll certainly read the first one probably start it at the weekend.
 
Bit boring me.

First choice: Here where I am. L marks the spot (my 14 year old's phone).

IMG_20240118_003138.jpg

We never planned to live here - I'd passed through but never stopped in the town. We were looking for somewhere to build (it's normally cheaper than buying) and it's 15 minutes from both St Malo (we spend a lot of time there) and Dinan where I work.

It wasn't meant to be a home for life but something cheap to avoid paying rent.

In 2015/6 we were ready to move onto somewhere better and we realised we were happy where we were so we extended instead.

There's no way we could have afforded to do the same thing in Scotland.

I would change house for something better and with a (sea) view, but stay in the same area.

2nd choice: Equally as boring - Edinburgh. After 19 years away I'm allowed! Anyway I'm sure I don't have to justify that one to you lot.

3rd choice!: I was going to say Salzburg, an amazing place, but although I don't like the heat it'd probably be good to have somewhere a bit warmer in the winter. Also I suffocate a bit if I'm not near the coast.

Out the places I know probably somewhere on the Galician/Asturian coast. A coruña or maybe Avilés. Both big enough for a city boy like me, but with a style and pace of life that suits me fine.
 
New York. A funky apartment in some hipster bit of Brooklyn like Williamsburg. Record shops, bars, world class street food. A chill place with easy access to the hustle and bustle of Manhattan.

A lakeside cabin in Finland. Beautiful part of the world and wild swimming there in the spring/summer is just incredible. Might take a bit of convincing for the wife though as last time I was in one was with the Finnish lass I was going out with at Uni.... I'll maybe suggest Sweden instead.

A beach side villa in Corfu. Not very original, but fuck it, I like the sun, the sea and pies made with filo pastry.
 
@Archie let’s be having you. You make me look like the one of the chuckle bros. Let’s see your less earnest side.
 
1. Zermatt in Switzerland. Got the lot for me. Plenty bars and restaurants. Warm without being too hot in summer and endless skiing in winter. To top it off you can look at the world’s most iconic mountain.

2. Italia. Either Tuscany or Lake Garda. Got the hot weather, Italian food, wine and espresso ❤️

3. Freiburg in the Black Forest. Not too big a city and has an old world charm about it. Bundesliga 1 club just moved to a new super stadium well served by the tram network. German bier and food. What’s not to like?
 
My choices would be

1. Edinburgh , born and brought up there , some days I miss it , some I don't but will always be no.1
2. Kalkan, Turkey spent many a good summer holiday there it may have changed by now but summers were gorgeous, good food, good people.
3. This is a difficult one been in so many nice places but possibly Kelowna BC good vineyards close to the states, good weather and good food nice area to tour around in. only downside is its very very expensive .
 
1. Edinburgh or surrounding. I lived in the city, in bathgate, and lastly in dunfermline. Loved them all. Fuck me, you only really appreciate Scotland when you leave it. I miss it all the time.

2. A Greek island. Slow life down. Just chilling. Don't mind which one. Just enjoying life.

3. An expansive huge acreage in perthshire. Me and my mate always said if we won the lottery we'd buy a huge plot of land, build 2 houses about a mile apart, with a purpose built pub AND fancy dress shop in the middle. Ride the quad bikes to the boozer every day, get pished - dress up as a pirate!!! What a day!!!
 
Can I just have 2? I really can't think of a third. My two choices nicely reflect my interests and lifestyle as I totter towards old age.

Austin Texas for the live music.

Koh Phi Phi island, Thailand, for the weather, beaches, food and an endless stream of beautiful women.
 
Number one would be San Diego, more specifically the Point Loma /Shelter Island area. San Diego is a fantastic city. Great restaurants, great bars and craft breweries. Perfect weather for the beach. If you’re adventurous you can take a trip over the border to Tijuana. Del Mar race track is just up the road. San Diego Padres play in a great stadium, Petco Park.

Next would be somewhere on Cape Cod which is quite a popular summer vacation destination for Boston folks. Different vibe to California. Great beaches, some of them only open to Cape Cod residents. Great seafood, try the lobster roll. I’m a big fan of the Sam Adams Boston lager. Martha’s Vineyard is a ferry away and New York and Boston are within easy reach.

Third would be a gaffe in Scotland but can’t decide whether to go for the beautiful countryside up north, say Dornie or a nice pied-à-terre in the Leith area or Stockbridge. In Stockbridge I could have my tankard behind the bar at The Baillie so there’s that.
 
I am struggling as I have been to tonnes of great places.

I am going to go with Sanur area in Bali. Going back there this year, love the people, weather, food and the peace and quiet.

I love Palma De Mallorca and have a great pal there who retired at 56 and plays golf and scuba dives all year round. I cannae do either but I might if life allowed. Andalucia and the Canaries (which I discovered late in life) are no too shabby either.

Scotland, I live here, I chose to come back from living abroad, I rarely regret it.
 
1875 said:
I am struggling as I have been to tonnes of great places.

I am going to go with Sanur area in Bali. Going back there this year, love the people, weather, food and the peace and quiet.

I love Palma De Mallorca and have a great pal there who retired at 56 and plays golf and scuba dives all year round. I cannae do either but I might if life allowed. Andalucia and the Canaries (which I discovered late in life) are no too shabby either.

Scotland, I live here, I chose to come back from living abroad, I rarely regret it.
Click to expand...
I tried scuba once. A painful sight and the coach basically gave up lol.

I just couldnae stay steady in the water. Every time I moved I’d end up flipping upside down and stuff. I’m a clumsy fecker but it’s harder than it looks!
 
egb_hibs said:
I tried scuba once. A painful sight and the coach basically gave up lol.

I just couldnae stay steady in the water. Every time I moved I’d end up flipping upside down and stuff. I’m a clumsy fecker but it’s harder than it looks!
Click to expand...

I tried it once and was fine until I seen fish of any size, then shat it!
 
egb_hibs said:
@Archie let’s be having you. You make me look like the one of the chuckle bros. Let’s see your less earnest side.
Click to expand...
In an ideal world:

- Melbourne Australia
- Hong Kong
- Lanzarote

I love Australia. It's completely unaffordable in Sydney and Melbourne. But the latter is just such a lovely place to be in.

Hong Kong is such an odd mix. Dynamic, but spiritual. Energetic, busy with massive statement buildings and beautiful parks and islands. There's no where quite like it. But sadly I wouldn't choose to go now given the political situation.

Lanzarote. It's got its tourist bits, but it has such an austere beauty, amazing beaches and, of course, the weather. It also has fantastic wines. You almost never get them at home and they are much more expensive than mainland wines. And it's easy to get to.

I would have said at one time Williamsburg or San Fancisco. I don't think I'd like to live in the states now. If I had to I might choose Dallas. It's gone fron being a cultural desert to quite a happening city.

In Europe, Amsterdam, Paris maybe Leipzig?

As for the Chuckle Brothers, showing you age there!
 
Archie said:
In an ideal world:

- Melbourne Australia
- Hong Kong
- Lanzarote

I love Australia. It's completely unaffordable in Sydney and Melbourne. But the latter is just such a lovely place to be in.

Hong Kong is such an odd mix. Dynamic, but spiritual. Energetic, busy with massive statement buildings and beautiful parks and islands. There's no where quite like it. But sadly I wouldn't choose to go now given the political situation.

Lanzarote. It's got its tourist bits, but it has such an austere beauty, amazing beaches and, of course, the weather. It also has fantastic wines. You almost never get them at home and they are much more expensive than mainland wines. And it's easy to get to.

I would have said at one time Williamsburg or San Fancisco. I don't think I'd like to live in the states now. If I had to I might choose Dallas. It's gone fron being a cultural desert to quite a happening city.

In Europe, Amsterdam, Paris maybe Leipzig?

As for the Chuckle Brothers, showing you age there!
Click to expand...

I am back in Lanza in March, I started going on Shrink's recommendation and he was right, its a lovey mix of tourist trash and local delights. Not tried the local wine yet, not been to the volcano either. Have seen UD Lanzarote play and will be going to see them again in March.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
  • Menu
  • Home
  • Hibs Chat
  • New Posts
  • Just Back
  • Chatroom