63 year old man punches a 5 day old bairn in the face

[beefy]

OMFG!!! :shock:

A man was arrested on suspicion of assaulting a five-day-old girl at a supermarket in Manchester, police said.
Officers were called to the Tesco store on Altrincham Road in Baguley at about 18:45 BST on Monday, following reports a baby had been hit.
Mother Amy Duckers said it was the first time the family had taken baby Elsie Rose out since she was born.
A 63-year-old arrested on suspicion of assault is currently in custody being questioned by officers.
Ms Duckers said the suspect had apologised and said he thought the baby was a doll.

Ms Duckers was showing her new daughter off to friends and neighbours in the store with her partner Lewis Temple, and her seven-year-old daughter, Libby.
She said a neighbour saw a work colleague who was with her husband, and it is alleged he came over and punched the baby, leaving a "very big fist mark" on her forehead.
The "mortified" parents called security and the baby girl was taken to hospital as a precaution. She has since been discharged.
Ms Duckers praised Tesco staff at the store saying the way they had dealt with the situation was "amazing".
A spokesman for the store said: "We were deeply shocked and saddened to hear about this traumatic incident and our thoughts are with baby Elsie, Amy and her family.
"We're grateful for Amy's kind comments about our colleagues who we commend for their actions and we will be assisting the police with their investigation."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-37294307

Shocking story but it got me thinking :hmmm Have you ever inadvertently used violence on anyone? Hmmmm

I was sitting in a mates house once when a girl that I had never met before was reading a paper right across from me whilst everyone else was chatting/smoking/bevvying. So I thought it would be a good laugh to give her a wee fright for being so boring as to read a paper when there was partying to be had. So I stood up, slowly walked across
the room and then proceeded to swiftly volley the paper out her hands in an upward fashion giving her a massive fright and me a massive laugh....BUT!....OH NO!!!.....my paper covered boot has followed through and has only went and connected with her unawares chin!:doh Fucccckin hell ya idiot!!!

Time seemed to stop...I'm sure there was a scratch noise as the music stopped and everybody is looking at me...."Did...did.. YOOOOU just kick ma pal in the FACE?" says my mates wife...what could I say?..."Eh Aye I think I actually did. Sorry." Was all I could say and went and sat back down. "WTF?! etc.... Loadsa apologies from me and the burd I booted was really cool about it and said it didnae hurt that much it was more of the shock rather than the connection. Good sport. I got TELT! though from a good few peeps, and rightly so, but a wee while later we were all laughing about as they kent I meant no malice. I was just being a choob. As usual. :doh

Any other stories? Mild or graphic welcome..

 

[Sauzee's Teeth]

I know it's a shocking story and there is nothing funny about it but... the title of this thread made me giggle before I read the content of it.

I'm probably a horrible person.

 

[southfieldhibby]

I'm sitting properly laughing out loud here beefy. You're a fuckin bam mate

 

[beefy]

I know it's a shocking story and there is nothing funny about it but... the title of this thread made me giggle before I read the content of it.

I'm probably a horrible person.

[video=youtube_share;tZQQGS6iBuc]https://youtu.be/tZQQGS6iBuc[/video]

I'm sitting properly laughing out loud here beefy. You're a fuckin bam mate

:innocent

 

[hibadelic]

Not quite violence but I accidentally caused chaos and burnt a duckling. Accident/stupidity it's a fine line.

My father in law had a river at the bottom of his garden and one evening we had a bonfire and a few beers. There was a family of ducks with a super-protective mother duck which regularly came to the bank to eat corn which my father in law kept to feed them.

I joked that you could lay a trail of corn into the oven in the house and the joke went down well. Not thinking it would actually work, I set a trail into the fire which was promptly followed by a duckling. At that stage I still thought it would be put off by the fire and I realised just too late that it wasn't going to stop.

At the exact same time, I started shooing the duckling and it touched a hot bit of fire. It's screams caused the mummy duck to go MENTAL and it started attacking me and the other people by the fire.

Once things had died down I felt like and was rightly treated like the worst person in the world.

 

[blue toon hibby]

OMFG!!! :shock:

A man was arrested on suspicion of assaulting a five-day-old girl at a supermarket in Manchester, police said.
Officers were called to the Tesco store on Altrincham Road in Baguley at about 18:45 BST on Monday, following reports a baby had been hit.
Mother Amy Duckers said it was the first time the family had taken baby Elsie Rose out since she was born.
A 63-year-old arrested on suspicion of assault is currently in custody being questioned by officers.
Ms Duckers said the suspect had apologised and said he thought the baby was a doll.

Ms Duckers was showing her new daughter off to friends and neighbours in the store with her partner Lewis Temple, and her seven-year-old daughter, Libby.
She said a neighbour saw a work colleague who was with her husband, and it is alleged he came over and punched the baby, leaving a "very big fist mark" on her forehead.
The "mortified" parents called security and the baby girl was taken to hospital as a precaution. She has since been discharged.
Ms Duckers praised Tesco staff at the store saying the way they had dealt with the situation was "amazing".
A spokesman for the store said: "We were deeply shocked and saddened to hear about this traumatic incident and our thoughts are with baby Elsie, Amy and her family.
"We're grateful for Amy's kind comments about our colleagues who we commend for their actions and we will be assisting the police with their investigation."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-37294307

Shocking story but it got me thinking :hmmm Have you ever inadvertently used violence on anyone? Hmmmm

I was sitting in a mates house once when a girl that I had never met before was reading a paper right across from me whilst everyone else was chatting/smoking/bevvying. So I thought it would be a good laugh to give her a wee fright for being so boring as to read a paper when there was partying to be had. So I stood up, slowly walked across
the room and then proceeded to swiftly volley the paper out her hands in an upward fashion giving her a massive fright and me a massive laugh....BUT!....OH NO!!!.....my paper covered boot has followed through and has only went and connected with her unawares chin!:doh Fucccckin hell ya idiot!!!

Time seemed to stop...I'm sure there was a scratch noise as the music stopped and everybody is looking at me...."Did...did.. YOOOOU just kick ma pal in the FACE?" says my mates wife...what could I say?..."Eh Aye I think I actually did. Sorry." Was all I could say and went and sat back down. "WTF?! etc.... Loadsa apologies from me and the burd I booted was really cool about it and said it didnae hurt that much it was more of the shock rather than the connection. Good sport. I got TELT! though from a good few peeps, and rightly so, but a wee while later we were all laughing about as they kent I meant no malice. I was just being a choob. As usual. :doh

Any other stories? Mild or graphic welcome..

What the hell was the man thinking of? Why would a couple be showing off a doll to people in a Tesco store FFS? . . and even if they were, why did he feel the need to punch it? Sounds like a fruit loop to me.

 

[brianmc]

Tesco colour scheme=Red, white and blue.... Coincidence that there's thuggery there?
You decide ;)

 

[Braehead Cabbage]

OMFG!!! :shock:

A man was arrested on suspicion of assaulting a five-day-old girl at a supermarket in Manchester, police said.
Officers were called to the Tesco store on Altrincham Road in Baguley at about 18:45 BST on Monday, following reports a baby had been hit.
Mother Amy Duckers said it was the first time the family had taken baby Elsie Rose out since she was born.
A 63-year-old arrested on suspicion of assault is currently in custody being questioned by officers.
Ms Duckers said the suspect had apologised and said he thought the baby was a doll.

Ms Duckers was showing her new daughter off to friends and neighbours in the store with her partner Lewis Temple, and her seven-year-old daughter, Libby.
She said a neighbour saw a work colleague who was with her husband, and it is alleged he came over and punched the baby, leaving a "very big fist mark" on her forehead.
The "mortified" parents called security and the baby girl was taken to hospital as a precaution. She has since been discharged.
Ms Duckers praised Tesco staff at the store saying the way they had dealt with the situation was "amazing".
A spokesman for the store said: "We were deeply shocked and saddened to hear about this traumatic incident and our thoughts are with baby Elsie, Amy and her family.
"We're grateful for Amy's kind comments about our colleagues who we commend for their actions and we will be assisting the police with their investigation."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-37294307

Shocking story but it got me thinking :hmmm Have you ever inadvertently used violence on anyone? Hmmmm

I was sitting in a mates house once when a girl that I had never met before was reading a paper right across from me whilst everyone else was chatting/smoking/bevvying. So I thought it would be a good laugh to give her a wee fright for being so boring as to read a paper when there was partying to be had. So I stood up, slowly walked across
the room and then proceeded to swiftly volley the paper out her hands in an upward fashion giving her a massive fright and me a massive laugh....BUT!....OH NO!!!.....my paper covered boot has followed through and has only went and connected with her unawares chin!:doh Fucccckin hell ya idiot!!!

Time seemed to stop...I'm sure there was a scratch noise as the music stopped and everybody is looking at me...."Did...did.. YOOOOU just kick ma pal in the FACE?" says my mates wife...what could I say?..."Eh Aye I think I actually did. Sorry." Was all I could say and went and sat back down. "WTF?! etc.... Loadsa apologies from me and the burd I booted was really cool about it and said it didnae hurt that much it was more of the shock rather than the connection. Good sport. I got TELT! though from a good few peeps, and rightly so, but a wee while later we were all laughing about as they kent I meant no malice. I was just being a choob. As usual. :doh

Any other stories? Mild or graphic welcome..

Beefy,that's almost up there with "are you all regicide to anything?" "Aye,horses"

 

[Jack]

Who would even think to knock fuck out some randoms doll in the supermarket?

 

[brianmc]

Who would even think to knock $#@! out some randoms doll in the supermarket?

Hmmm, that's potentially a very good question. But what if, playing devil's advocate here, it was an Andy Halliday doll???

Not so straight forward now is it...

 

[Jack]

Hmmm, that's potentially a very good question. But what if, playing devil's advocate here, it was an Andy Halliday doll???

Not so straight forward now is it...

That would quite clearly be a voodoo doll.

 

[beefy]

That would quite clearly be a voodoo doll.

Or to give it it's proper name...

The Hibs broke the hoodoo 3-2 voodoo doll.

 

[ZemmamasBarnet]

I read about this at work yesterday and laughed in spite of myself. Then I told someone else at work about it and they laughed in spite of themselves too.

It reminded me of a situation recently where I was tempted to clout a wee shite on a train or plane I was on. They'd been causing all kinds of grief on my particular mode of transportation and I thought "Fuck this, I could just skelp the wee fucker. No-one will be more shocked than the bairn or the parents. No-one will believe what they've seen and with the right amount of confidence I could probably get away with it. Skelp your bairn? Fuck off. Who does that?" It'd be like the flashy thing in men and black, but a balled fist of punched your bairn in the face induced amnesia.

See if the old boy had stuck with the "I never punched your baby" line, it could have been one of those stories he told on his death bed "Pull your chair closer young man, let me tell you about the time I punched a baby and got away with it". Instead he's probably going to die old and lonely because he punched a baby in the face.

It's not funny but it really really is.

Disclaimer: I do NOT condone punching babies in the face.

 

[Jack]

I think this must happen much more often than we are aware of.

There's some fugly bairns out there.

 

[Stu]

See if the old boy had stuck with the "I never punched your baby" line, .

[video=youtube;uaglEdB7CDs]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaglEdB7CDs[/video]

 

[egb_hibs]

I read about this at work yesterday and laughed in spite of myself. Then I told someone else at work about it and they laughed in spite of themselves too.

It reminded me of a situation recently where I was tempted to clout a wee $#@!e on a train or plane I was on. They'd been causing all kinds of grief on my particular mode of transportation and I thought "$#@! this, I could just skelp the wee $#@!er. No-one will be more shocked than the bairn or the parents. No-one will believe what they've seen and with the right amount of confidence I could probably get away with it. Skelp your bairn? $#@! off. Who does that?" It'd be like the flashy thing in men and black, but a balled fist of punched your bairn in the face induced amnesia.

See if the old boy had stuck with the "I never punched your baby" line, it could have been one of those stories he told on his death bed "Pull your chair closer young man, let me tell you about the time I punched a baby and got away with it". Instead he's probably going to die old and lonely because he punched a baby in the face.

It's not funny but it really really is.

Disclaimer: I do NOT condone punching babies in the face.

i didn't laugh at this but before that comes across as sanctimonious I did have a guilty chuckle at the following;

Way back - I think when we played the Huns in LC final at Celtic park - I was walking to the ground and passed some hibbies parking up who then ended up walking beside me. A little way along the road and the 'mind yer car mister' cry goes up. Hibbies from the car tell the wee radges to bolt and keep walking. A few more steps and 'hey mister' - everyone turns round and wee bam is gesturing suggestively at the boys windscreen with a plank while wearing a shit eating grin. The lead car hibby grudgingly capitulates and returns to the lad digging in his pocket for change - and producing an uppercut that launches the wee radge over the bonnet.

Cue some scene reminiscent of Belfast crossed with the hills have eyes as shrieking wifies come pouring out of closes with loud cries of 'wait till my man...'

I shouldn't have, but I did chuckle.

I think it was the same day where outside some hellhole boozer confronted by more urchins, a Hibs fan offered a wee ned a fiver to punch his mate (ie another wee ned) ...more carnage ensued.