Pistachios

[Jack]

The most infuriating nut in the world.

When I go on holiday one of the first things I do is get a big bag of these bad buggers! So bad I've taken time out to write this. Jeeze I'm frustrated :-!

I'm on my own with my almost grown up 3 kids. Parents know what I mean.

Over the years I have mastered the art of talking to my wife, chatting on the HibeesBounce, smoking a fag and drinking beer - all at the same time - multi talented me! Phoarrrrr!!!!

Do you think I can somehow fit these little fuckers into that smooth flow of serenity? No chance. Wee bastards why do you taste soooooo good. They DEMAND their own, exclusive, time.

Right, must go, there's nuts to be eaten.

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Wee shits, kids not nuts, have pissed off tonight - I was invited, at least my wallet was - so I have some quality time on my own lol.

Dad will we wake you up when we get in?

Eh. naw son, don't need to bother thanks.

They're like an unholy alliance between the geeses and the elephants - no way I'll miss their return.

More nuts - grrrr

 

[Jack]

Indeed Gemma, thank you. :-)

It was a bizzy night on the nuts front tonight.

I'll need to buy another scrotum tomorrow.














That's a big bag of serenity :-)

 

[SuperTortolano]

I found a huge bag of already cracked pistachios. Don't do it, it's like the crack cocaine of nuts.

 

[Jack]

You say it's a big bag...how do others feel about that?



Sorry...my daft humour....

Feels good apparently*; no complains, only compliments TRUE, FACT, END OFF :-)

* I've nothing to judge against other than the pleasing look.

 

[Jack]

By the way that's the kids home - even before I had finished my beers.

Quell surprise!

A taxi was offered from our hotel to the club.

We're all inclusive I've no cash on me, why should I? Que a hasty rush to the room for readies. :-D

Watch how much the drinks are.

Its ok dad its only a couple of euros a drink.

pfft. After one drink they had to leave, it was empty anyway. Club down the road one fifth the price with free entry and its going like a train - lesson learned.

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Sorry, I cannot stop my immature giggling about this.

Bad girl and I will reprimand myself about this. Or I'll get my buddy to do it. (Bad, bad, bad!)

I think I should reprimand you also - in my Herr Flick accent - you are a very naughty girl. You must now behave and do exactly vot you are told, fen you are told, or you vill be severely chastised.

But Herr Flick efferybody from zee Bounce ezz vaucthing oont zee Dr Shrink has hezz brownie box quivering.

No matter Gemma zee Hibee. Zer vill be much more quivering before long. Heil Hitler.

C C C Clunck.

Vott are you still doing here?

 

[Jack]

I found a huge bag of already cracked pistachios. Don't do it, it's like the crack cocaine of nuts.

Absolutely right.

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Nightclubs Jack?
Get a grip of yourself. Deary me.....

What's wrong with that?