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Brainwrong

Brainwrong

Spaktacuradge
Private Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2004
Folk that aren't weedgies calling bairns weans.

Fuck. Just tried to come up with a hate list and totally failed.

Thoughts?
 
Check out operators who ask "do you need bags" when you have 60 Quid's worth of shopping on the belt .
 
I hate that I cannae watch horror movies anymair cos I now live on ma ain and I'm a big shite bag!
 
I have one a long held one brought to mind by fringe posters. My not be one you recognise, but you will once I've pointed it out.

I hate portraits of people where they have jumped up in the air, but are holding a standing pose. It's also frequently embellished by full clothing with bare feet.

I fucking hate it with an inexplicable fervour. It always seems to be celebs who are both smug and 'zany'. A deathly combination.

Pop stars do it as well, the bastards.

Edit - this is what I mean here, with his hair as the cherry on the cake , though thankfully he has kept his shoes on

ALAN3.jpg
 
Eating in a restaurant and the waiter or waitress without fail asking you if everything's OK while you're mouth's full.

Commentators who say "He just about got away with that". Naw, he did or he didnae.

People who leave the price tags on their shoes

People who leave their statements at the bank machine with more money than you. As windups go, that is surely the lowest of the low.

Not being able to find stuff because the organised wee pile of shite you had has been tidied away. Just fucking leave it alone, eh?
 
Drivers who pull speedily out of a junction in front of you on the A9, causing you to slam yer brakes on and then they proceed along said highway at 40 fuckin miles an hour.
 
LisaO said:
I hate that I cannae watch horror movies anymair cos I now live on ma ain and I'm a big shite bag!
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I hate that the only lassies I've gone out with that dig horror have been mental and that the non mental ones are fuckin shitebags.

"Oh, it's too gory / violent."
"Yer happy to be all gory yersel every month though, eh?"

Hypocrites.
 
egb_hibs said:
I have one a long held one brought to mind by fringe posters. My not be one you recognise, but you will once I've pointed it out.

I hate portraits of people where they have jumped up in the air, but are holding a standing pose. It's also frequently embellished by full clothing with bare feet.

I fucking hate it with an inexplicable fervour. It always seems to be celebs who are both smug and 'zany'. A deathly combination.

Pop stars do it as well, the bastards.

Edit - this is what I mean here, with his hair as the cherry on the cake , though thankfully he has kept his shoes on
Click to expand...

Not something that had piqued my hate gland but I can see the utter fuckoffery it engenders. Will look out for this in future.
 
Brainwrong said:
Not something that had piqued my hate gland but I can see the utter $#@!offery it engenders. Will look out for this in future.
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It occurs to me without looking to check if I'm right that Paul McCartney must have done this at some point. And sting.
 
egb_hibs said:
It occurs to me without looking to check if I'm right that Paul McCartney must have done this at some point. And sting.
Click to expand...

Another ting is the professional studio photies that families get. You know the ones; always in a pure white room and no-one has shoes on.

I fucken hate feet!!!
 
I don't mind feet, but it's bare feet plus full clothes that does my napped in.

Especially a suit.

I also hate suits paired with converse or other plimsols (no doubt the kids today have a different name for them) like the Scottish dr who whatever his name is. It is wank stainery of epic proportions,
 
LisaO said:
Another ting is the professional studio photies that families get. You know the ones; always in a pure white room and no-one has shoes on.

I fucken hate feet!!!
Click to expand...

You're brilliant. I fucking hate both of those things too. Particularly, erm, both of them.

Both give me the absolute boak.
 
ZemmamasBarnet said:
Eating in a restaurant and the waiter or waitress without fail asking you if everything's OK while you're mouths full
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Agreed. I'll add - who also, without fail, are nowhere to be seen when you actually want to get the bill and leave.
 
egb_hibs said:
It occurs to me without looking to check if I'm right that Paul McCartney must have done this at some point. And sting.
Click to expand...

Dolly Parton? :dub:

And I hate (with absolute and unrelenting vengeance) people who say "Smile, it's not the end of the world", "Cheer up, pal" or anything to that effect. I'm not the violent type but... well... how f@cking dare they. Grrrrrrr.

:boxing:
 
Funny you should mention dolly, I noticed at the Edinburgh book festival that some wily photographer had talked a buxom young author into pulling this stunt, the affects of which almost justify the form. However the series of author photos on big blowups around the place, demonstrate a whole panoply of teeth grinding portraiture, props to irvine welsh who was clearly having none of it based on his own photo.
 
Soaps on telly.

The bastards that drive the bin lorries.

Drivers that wear hats.

City of Edinburgh Council.

Other folks bairns.
 
Fritz said:
Drivers who pull speedily out of a junction in front of you on the A9, causing you to slam yer brakes on and then they proceed along said highway at 40 fuckin miles an hour.
Click to expand...

Spot on.

And on similar lines....


Twats driving with foglights on when its not foggy in the mistaken belief it turns their Corsa/Fiesta/whatever into a speedy rallycar rather than just a hazard to oncoming motorists.

Motorway drivers who think the middle lane is for cruising, and the outside lane is for sales reps/BMWs despite there being no fcukin traffic in the inside lanes. Arseholes.

Non-disabled drivers who park in the disabled bay. Id happily compromise and kneecap the fcukers so they can park there legitimately.
 
I FEKIN UTTERLY HATE youngsters and old that think il good tae be/ sound like fekin Americans!!!!

Whether it be music, talking, fashion, or wearing yer jeans half way doon yer crack . ITS A NO FAE ME !!!!!!
 
The phrase now beloved of arsehole football pundits and commentators.." he was entitled to go down" when reviewing a foul where a player has barely been touched. He wasn`t "entitled to go down" if there was little or no contact.....he cheated.

In a similar vein, the comment, "a give and go pass" has me reaching for the sickbag. Hey, SKY Sports, it`s called a fuckin 'one-two' in this country .
 
I'll go further than you Fritz. I hate modern football full stop. Except of course for Hibs,


Who after derbies, I truly fucking loathe.
 
Fecking idiots that don`t stick to their lane at Crewe toll roundabout during rush hour .:pullhair:

People that start a conversation with the word "here", i usually stick my hand out as if they`re going to give me something .:rascal:

Breakfast , LUNCH, dinner, ARGGGHHHHH it`s an englishism :dunno:, breakfast ,dinner and tea faur a cum fae gadge:tuttut:
 
People who say, 'it is what it is'.

It's the new shitspeak way of saying 'oh well'.

Fcuk off.
 
People who finish my sentences (aka - the wife). Pretty much everyone who is more than 5 years younger than me unless they are immediate family. Cyclists. Anyone from Chelsea or Essex. Apart from that I'm quite easy going, me.
 
Folk who talk with like they are asking a question with every sentence? Mostly Edinburgh Uni 'yah daddy paid for my apartment' types.

Folk who call a 'flat' an 'apartment'.

Waiters in restaurants who don't write down your order (when there is more than 2 people) to try and be cool and impressive but inevitably get your order wrong or come back and double check. Pricks.

People walking in a busy street (e.g North Bridge) who just stop without warning in the middle of the pavement (usually old folk or tourists).
 
Tattoos: They are horrible...all of them. Even worse, women with tattoos

Robbie Williams: No further words are required

People who consider themselves "middle class": Here's some news, there is no such thing as middle class. You just happen to have more money, a better job and a nicer house than the guy down the street, it doesn't make you a better person than him or a "class" above them. If you lose your job tomorrow you are going to be in the same dole queue as the scaffie who has also lost his job.

Everything about modern football apart from the actual game itself: Controversial maybe, but so much of what goes along with football these days just sickens me. It's still the most beautiful game in the world though.

Music snobs: People that think their music is "the best" and "amazing" whilst calling other peoples tastes "shite". Music is the most wonderful art form in the world in my opinion, it's also totally subjective. Just enjoy what music you love and try to appreciate that not everyone will have the same taste as you

Folk with bad breath or BO: No excuse whatsoever. Wash yourself, brush your teeth, gargle with mouthwash, keep yourself clean, there really is nothing to it.

"Put on" American accents: I know it's been mentioned but I wholeheartedly go along with the loathing of this. An example is People who start to address a group of people with "Hey guys" or worse "guys" when there are both men and women there...and don't get me started on British pop singers who sing in an American accent, the aforementioned fat dancer from Take That being without doubt the worst offender.
 
The whistling tune ringtone that is the pre programmed standard on all Samsung phones and tablets which you hear everyday and everywhere.

Anyone who uses this lazy default is obviously totally devoid of any imagination and utterly incapable of operating any modern device.

Its simple.....Settings/Sound/Ringtone and you have a multitude to choose from.
 
You ok babes?... Usually preceded on social media by some attention seeking twat and a cryptic message

Message me hunni
 
Last edited:
SlovSam said:
The whistling tune ringtone that is the pre programmed standard on all Samsung phones and tablets which you hear everyday and everywhere.

Anyone who uses this lazy default is obviously totally devoid of any imagination and utterly incapable of operating any modern device.

Its simple.....Settings/Sound/Ringtone and you have a multitude to choose from.
Click to expand...


oh aye and people who can't spell Hannan:-)
 
Folk that reply to statements with "Really?" or "Seriously?"
Yes,Really! That's why i said it you soap watching Yankee wannabe,now reply properly or a poke in the eye will be forthcoming.

The phrase "My bad" seems to have died a death,which is good.

Tubes.
 
Greenmachine said:
People who consider themselves "middle class": Here's some news, there is no such thing as middle class. You just happen to have more money, a better job and a nicer house than the guy down the street, it doesn't make you a better person than him or a "class" above them. If you lose your job tomorrow you are going to be in the same dole queue as the scaffie who has also lost his job.

.
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funnily enough, I can't stand it when university educated people in well paid white collar jobs insist on calling themselves working class. In fact I hate the whole stupid class schtick, which was always yet another way to divide people, and these days is meaningless anyway.
 
I hate pretty much everything since 2000.

Football, the "champions" league, the EPL, seedings in cup draws, 3rd choice replica kits, middle aged men in replica tops, full kit onanists, the rise of the cliche casuals, ticket prices, sky/bt/espn, the fact Derek Ferguson is actually employed to describe a football match,

Twitter and the folk who believe everything that is on it. Social media? Not very social people staring at their phones all the time. Folk taking non stop pics or vids at gigs/fitba etc, tourists of life.

E.D.M. for fox sake. Awful. End it now, i genuinely hope David Guetta gets the Ebola virus.

Modern djs, you aren't a frigging dj, you are pressing play on a sodding mp3 file.

Modern rappers, they all sound the same, saying the same thing, over soft as isht beats. Fingers crossed Drake and Kanye West are around when Guetta gets Ebola.

Reality tv, celeb culture, Heat magazine etc.

Pubs where the only "vodka" is Smirnoff and Glens.

Smirnoff and Glens.

I could go on.
 
PILTONSTANY said:
Folk that reply to statements with "Really?" or "Seriously?"
Yes,Really! That's why i said it you soap watching Yankee wannabe,now reply properly or a poke in the eye will be forthcoming.

The phrase "My bad" seems to have died a death,which is good.

Tubes.
Click to expand...

This. This made me come the closest to domestic violence (inflicting, not receiving; done that) with my mental ex. It replaces any actual thought or effort in a rebuttal. Fucking. Annoying. As. Fuck.
 
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