The All New Joke Thread


I ran into the living room earlier and said to the wife “ get in the toilet and see that shite I’ve done it’s massive “
“Dirty bastard” she replied
I said “well at least get in and guard it I’m going for a tape measure and I reckon it weighs 2lb , I swear it’s a world record”
When I got back up stairs she said “ I think one of the grandsons must’ve flushed it, thank fuck, as it’s not in the bowl”
I said “ I know! It’s on the scales “

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