Stupidity

[Hattie]

Ok, this could go all different ways which is fine. Whats the most stupid thing you’ve encountered?
well my laddie for the 2nd time in a week, has ordered a McDonald’s, as he is dairy free he gets his burgers or anything else dairy free. Lo and behold both the orders come with cheese on his burgers!
But, there’s more, on his wrapper around his burger , it says “ dairy free burger”
Ffs how stupid can they be.
I’m sure there must be more experience but ffs

 

[Doc Shrink]

I may be talking pish (it’s been known, seriously) but I think I read that the ‘cheese’ they use is a bunch of chemicals and vegetable oils.
Not actually ‘dairy’ but possibly equally or more deadly.

 

[tricky]

Tell him to knock the McDonald’s on the head..

have never eaten one look abysmal

 

[GORDONSMITH7]

I am dairy and meat free. On one occasion in Berlin I got the order in for 5 of us in a burger joint and requested a meat free burger for myself.
On receiving and distributing the grub my meat free burger turned out to be a roll with fuck all in it. Must polish up my German.

BIG G

 

[Davy]

Tell him to knock the McDonald’s on the head..

have never eaten one look abysmal

Heathen

 

[Findlayhibby]

On more than one occasion I have gone into a cafe. Ordered a Black Coffee and been asked 'Do I want milk with that?'. Maybe I'm missing something?

 

[HaarlemShuffler]

On more than one occasion I have gone into a cafe. Ordered a Black Coffee and been asked 'Do I want milk with that?'. Maybe I'm missing something?

Milk?

 

[hibbybilly]

Milk?

And sugar?

 

[MeanwoodHibee]

A man goes into a cafe and asks for a coffee, no milk. Actually, says the person serving him, we don't have any milk anyway. Oh ok, says the guy, what about cream, do you have any cream? Yes, we have cream, he's told. All right then, he says, I'll have a coffee please, no cream.

 

[Jack]

I may be talking pish (it’s been known, seriously) but I think I read that the ‘cheese’ they use is a bunch of chemicals and vegetable oils.
Not actually ‘dairy’ but possibly equally or more deadly.

I think that's more common than people are aware. A lot of the 'cheese' on pizzas, supermarket and takeaway, is no more cheese than the cardboard boxes they come in!

 

[Plasticman]

I am dairy and meat free. On one occasion in Berlin I got the order in for 5 of us in a burger joint and requested a meat free burger for myself.
On receiving and distributing the grub my meat free burger turned out to be a roll with fuck all in it. Must polish up my German.

BIG G

Sounds like the Veggie options after a night out in Edinburgh in the late 80s - I used to get a vegetarian kebab from after a night out at say The Cavern (so maybe from Samsons at tollcross) and it consisted of a pitta bread filled with lettuce and chilli sauce!

Much better these days thankfully.

Like Robbie Ive never had anything from McDonalds, wouldnt think of touching their veggie options, look minging.

Notice this has turned into a food n drink thing, not what the op intended. Sorry!

 

[Hattie]

On more than one occasion I have gone into a cafe. Ordered a Black Coffee and been asked 'Do I want milk with that?'. Maybe I'm missing something?

Yeah I drink black coffee and have bern asked the same

 

[Doc Shrink]

Yeah I drink black coffee and have bern asked the same

I quite often ask for a black coffee 'with milk on the side' so it comes in a wee jug.
I don't like milky coffee like a latte or just 'too white' so I get to just put a wee spot in masel.
If you are a fat bald guy, perhaps they mistook you for me!

 

[Dub]

I am dairy and meat free. On one occasion in Berlin I got the order in for 5 of us in a burger joint and requested a meat free burger for myself.
On receiving and distributing the grub my meat free burger turned out to be a roll with fuck all in it. Must polish up my German.

BIG G

That's one of the funniest things I've read in ages mucker

 

[Dub]

A man goes into a cafe and asks for a coffee, no milk. Actually, says the person serving him, we don't have any milk anyway. Oh ok, says the guy, what about cream, do you have any cream? Yes, we have cream, he's told. All right then, he says, I'll have a coffee please, no cream.

Up in the space station, one of the Astronauts is making coffee. He turns to another astronaut and says "Hey mate, I'm making coffee but I can't find the milk" The other astronaut replies "In space, no one can, here use cream"

 

[Hattie]

I quite often ask for a black coffee 'with milk on the side' so it comes in a wee jug.
I don't like milky coffee like a latte or just 'too white' so I get to just put a wee spot in masel.
If you are a fat bald guy, perhaps they mistook you for me!

I am

 

[Westside Green]

Burger place in Waterloo Station. A plain burger with cheese, no relish or gherkins. 5 times the burger was returned and the same request was made, eventually the manager got it right. He said they couldn't understand our accent, one of the guys with me was born and bred in Pimlico.