Seemingly, TC has written; probably wi crayons, an farticle about how shite we are and how uck Bodgers will be dodging aboot before we win the Scottish Cup. Tam! You are wan fanny ****! Hope your next tollie's an aneurysm.
I've always hated Motherwell FC. Their fans. The place. Everything about them. Just a ucking horrible little haemorrhoid on the very ersehole of society. You see, unlike most of you, I grew up in Strathaven in the 1980s. I went to school there. I was the only Hibby at my school, and the few MFC fans that there were, were just diet Red Bull huns. I mind after we beat Cowdenbeath 6-0 in August 1985 they made the draw for the next 2 rounds: we would play Motherwell at hame, and the winners would be at hame to the huns-in-hoops (they like to be called Celtic, but we ken different). Anyway, this prize ramjet in ma year goes 'Motherwell wan, Hibs nuthin', Motherwell 6, Celtic nuthin'!' Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh, the pure-dead-gallus-aren't you-a-cunny-funt-banter.
For the record, Hibs ucked Motheruckerwell 6-1. (Then beat the huns-in-hoops.)
At the next day at school, ma Hibs scarf was derided by said ersepiece as 'that Fenian thing'. (The funny (as in strange, not amusing) thing is this @@$@ could not spell the word 'Fenian'. No, like aw the rest of the south Lanarkshire massif, he thougt it was some kind of cat thing. He spelt it 'Fenine'. This is true. anny.)
So, Tam Pon has got his Nairobi oot and chugged aw over his typewrite again. Well done, Tam. How auld are you? Forty-12? And that's you just discovered 'the masturbating'? Bet you get a right stauner every time we get knocked out the Scottish Cup, eh?
Funny, though. Of all the teams (and there are many) that have knocked us oot the Scottish Cup, uckerwell have never done it. Ayr United? Lapland Athletic? Inverbogle Cousin-shaggers? Stoorie Brae Doggers? Aye.
But uckerwell? Naw.
And ootside Swynecastle, Fir Park is the only ground we've scored six or more at in a competitive match since 1959.
Twice.
So Tam, next time you're thinking of putting pen to anus, mind us.
And the six goals we've scored against you thrice since 1984.
But you're the ucking beast, son.
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P.S. uckerwell have never beat Hibs in the Scottish Cup in aw the years I've been watching Hibs. That's 34 years. (They did beat us in 1976. Before lying down to the hunz (what's new) in the semi. (Tam Pon gets a semi whenever we lose in the cup, though.)
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See if you take the name 'Tam Cowan' and you take a couple of letters oot and put a couple of letters in, you get 'FAT SPECKY WEEGIE WANK'.
fANNY THAT, EH?
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See if you take the name 'Tam Cowan', and you take a couple of letters out, and you put a couple of letters in, you get 'FAT SPECKY WEEGIE WANK'.
fANNY THAT, EH?
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Tam, come and review a meal at ma hoose. I'll shite in yer mince and pish in yer wine. Ya fat roaster.