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Dug

stickyRicky

Muirhouse Radge
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So my neighbour got a new dug and at first it was quiet and calm now 3 weeks later all he does in the garden is bark like mad. It's giving me a headache.

Should i kill it or let it out the garden in the hope it gets hit by a car?
 
Feed it.
Curry.
For a month.
It'll stop barking.
It'll be so busy licking its arse....
 
Feed it.
Curry.
For a month.
It'll stop barking.
It'll be so busy licking its arse.......

There’s so much about this that’s hilarious. Next year you’ll win the Festival joke
 
Feed it.
Curry.
For a month.
It'll stop barking.
It'll be so busy licking its arse.......

Excellent plan. Shitting all about the neighbours hoose tae extra bonus.
 
There’s so much about this that’s hilarious. Next year you’ll win the Festival joke
I did this many years ago to a neighbours dog.
It used to bark like fuck when he let it out.
We lived in the downstairs flat, he was upstairs.
He's let it out last thing and he would have a sly smoke out front.
After a few weeks of it going cuckoo bananas, I'd had enough.
I fed it curry for about 3-4 night's before the guy took it back in for the night.
10 days later I met my neighbour.
I said "How's Fido"?
He said " got shot of the fucking thing"
"Oh , why?" I ask.
" bastard o a thing ruined the carpet in the spare room"!
I said " aye, not good when they start chewing things"
He says " that I might've fuckin handled, but the fucker shit aw ower it!"
I said " would it not clean?"
" maybe if it had been one shit, aye, but the bastard had the shits for a week. The fuckin hoose was reekin"!
I had to beat a hasty retreat.
And laughed for about an hour.
Recalling it a these years later still brings a smile to my face.
 
I did this many years ago to a neighbours dog.
It used to bark like fuck when he let it out.
We lived in the downstairs flat, he was upstairs.
He's let it out last thing and he would have a sly smoke out front.
After a few weeks of it going cuckoo bananas, I'd had enough.
I fed it curry for about 3-4 night's before the guy took it back in for the night.
10 days later I met my neighbour.
I said "How's Fido"?
He said " got shot of the fucking thing"
"Oh , why?" I ask.
" bastard o a thing ruined the carpet in the spare room"!
I said " aye, not good when they start chewing things"
He says " that I might've fuckin handled, but the fucker shit aw ower it!"
I said " would it not clean?"
" maybe if it had been one shit, aye, but the bastard had the shits for a week. The fuckin hoose was reekin"!
I had to beat a hasty retreat.
And laughed for about an hour.
Recalling it a these years later still brings a smile to my face.

Wonder if chorizo sausage would give it an upset tummy. Maybe 3 or 4
 
A well kent Hibby I know fed the neighbours dug laxatives stuck inside dog treats for weeks. His neighbours didnae care. I think after several reasonable requests my mate simply booted his neighbours *&*^ in.
 
A well kent Hibby I know fed the neighbours dug laxatives stuck inside dog treats for weeks. His neighbours didnae care. I think after several reasonable requests my mate simply booted his neighbours *&*^ in.

Sounds reasonable to me. I just need to find a way to sneak it food without the neighbour seeing.
 
I did this many years ago to a neighbours dog.
It used to bark like fuck when he let it out.
We lived in the downstairs flat, he was upstairs.
He's let it out last thing and he would have a sly smoke out front.
After a few weeks of it going cuckoo bananas, I'd had enough.
I fed it curry for about 3-4 night's before the guy took it back in for the night.
10 days later I met my neighbour.
I said "How's Fido"?
He said " got shot of the fucking thing"
"Oh , why?" I ask.
" bastard o a thing ruined the carpet in the spare room"!
I said " aye, not good when they start chewing things"
He says " that I might've fuckin handled, but the fucker shit aw ower it!"
I said " would it not clean?"
" maybe if it had been one shit, aye, but the bastard had the shits for a week. The fuckin hoose was reekin"!
I had to beat a hasty retreat.
And laughed for about an hour.
Recalling it a these years later still brings a smile to my face.
That is glorious hahahaha
 
Sounds reasonable to me. I just need to find a way to sneak it food without the neighbour seeing.

Fire wee laxative infused dug biscuits into his garden?
 
To be honest, it's a shame to do it to the dog. It's the bloody owner at fault, but that's not your concern.
You simply want peace and quiet.
 
Fire wee laxative infused dug biscuits into his garden?

I'll look into it. Was just gonna get the spiciest Chorizo sausage hoping that would do the trick.
 
To be honest, it's a shame to do it to the dog. It's the bloody owner at fault, but that's not your concern.
You simply want peace and quiet.

Aye it's constant.
 
I'll look into it. Was just gonna get the spiciest Chorizo sausage hoping that would do the trick.
It probably would. Not too spicy or the hound wont touch it.
You could try one of those dog whistles? Blow it as often as you can. Drive it, and its owner round the fucking bend.
 
Spray paint “Paedo” on the side of his hoose and let the neighbourhood do the work for you.

I like Dugs.
 
It probably would. Not too spicy or the hound wont touch it.
You could try one of those dog whistles? Blow it as often as you can. Drive it, and its owner round the fucking bend.

I'm doing the chorizo idea.
 
You are going to poison a dog?

You are a prick
 
You are going to poison a dog?

You are a prick

Think we all need to calm down here. Noticed this thread is getting a lot of attention on Twitter with animal rights campaigners talking about “stringing up” the Sticky felly and claiming to know where he lives.

It’s all gone horribly wrong
 
You are going to poison a dog?

You are a prick

I did say kill it but brought it down to a simple poisoning.
 
Think we all need to calm down here. Noticed this thread is getting a lot of attention on Twitter with animal rights campaigners talking about “stringing up” the Sticky felly and claiming to know where he lives.

It’s all gone horribly wrong

Excellent.
 
It's probably not getting it's Nat King.Get it a mate.
 
It's probably not getting it's Nat King.Get it a mate.
Collie?
 
With all the furore, I have to add that my encounter with my neighbours dog was approx. 38 years ago.
The guy didn't have the dog put down.
He gave it to a local farmer.
Wasn't utilised as a sheepdog.
He used it as a muck spreader....
 
With all the furore, I have to add that my encounter with my neighbours dog was approx. 38 years ago.
The guy didn't have the dog put down.
He gave it to a local farmer.
Wasn't utilised as a sheepdog.
He used it as a muck spreader.....

The old "local farmer" explenation. He's deed :devilishy:
 
The old "local farmer" explenation. He's deed :devilishy:
It's true....he was Scotland's first curry/ slurry spreader
 
stick the chorizo in yer ears and leave the fuckin dug alone.
 
stick the chorizo in yer ears and leave the fuckin dug alone.

I'll think hard on that :lauff:
 

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