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Thread: Petty Crimes Punishable By Death

  1. #1
    Are those C##t's no ****ing deid yet radge



    ZemmamasBarnet's Avatar
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    Petty Crimes Punishable By Death

    1) If you say you're gonna play fives, do us all the courtesy of actually turning up. It's no called four and a halfs bawbag. You're getting stabbed.

    2) Pishing on the toilet seat at home isn't acceptable but it's your throne, do with it what you will. Pishing on the toilet seat at work and leaving it for someone else to park their cheeks on is gonna get you stabbed.

    I'll continue to add to this as the rage unfolds
    FC Union, Unsere Liebe

  2. #2
    Radger Mellie
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    Wearing a Gunt or a hun top on a day ending in "Y".

  3. #3
    Radger Mellie
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    Voting Tory.

    Or Lib/Dem.

    Same thing really.

  4. #4
    Radger Mellie
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    Dishing out beans with fish instead of peas.

  5. #5
    A True Gadgie/Gadgess
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    Wearing $#@!ing flip flops. Flip flop flip flop flip flop. I hate that noise. And its flip flop season.

    Being a vegetarian.


    Not knowing the correct way to use a roundabout.

  6. #6
    Are those C##t's no ****ing deid yet radge



    ZemmamasBarnet's Avatar
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    Every $#@!er changing their user name.

    I feel like I'm missing out on some kind of fashion trend again, like the time I was at high school and my folks got me a wax jacket, instead of the uber cool "Eclipse" jacket I wanted.

    A wax jacket for $#@! sake? I don't fish, I'm not in emmerdale, what the $#@! did they think I'd want with a wax jacket?

    For crimes against fashion and embarassing the $#@! out of me; I'm stabbing my mum.
    FC Union, Unsere Liebe

  7. #7
    A True Gadgie/Gadgess
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    Hawl! Jamie bestowed my new name upon me. I quite like it.

    Don't stab your mum. Mum's will always feed you and lend you money.


    Stab a bus driver instead.

  8. #8
    Are those C##t's no ****ing deid yet radge



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    folk with higher english who don't know the difference between their, their and they're.

    You're getting stabbed (note - not your)

  9. #9
    Radge Private Member





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    Folk who just stroll up to the front of long bus queues - next time **** you're under that bus!

  10. #10
    Are those C##t's no ****ing deid yet radge



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    The prosecution rests. I don't have a problem with the folk that wait at the front of the queue and get on after everyone else.

    But if you get on while there's a queue, that's a stabbing

    I think trains have to be excluded, the queueing system for that particular mode of transport is mind boggling.

    You can do it 6ft 5" ninja style and half slink half barge your way in 'cos no-one messes with a ninja, let alone a big one on the 718 to Edinburgh.

    Or you can do it by lining up parallel to the doors which seems to open up a 3rd dimension of space around what would normally only accomadate one person.

    One morning I swear I saw three people, a buggy, four rucksacks and a mini chock full of clowns pile onto the train through the one door.

  11. #11
    Loves a Bevy Radge
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    i agree with you on the fives thing we play in a league and 4 teams have no turned up its a joke either play in the bloody league or tell them and someone can take there place

  12. #12
    Hibernian, Hibernian Ra Ra Radge



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    Quote Originally Posted by ZemmamasBarnet View Post
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    folk with higher english who don't know the difference between their, their and they're.

    You're getting stabbed (note - not your)
    I assume that you don't have higher english then Zoomer. If you do, could you edjimicate a poor simpleton on the difference between the two words I have highlighted

    Or did you mean their, there and they're you poor fool

    Who's getting stabbed again then
    They're gone, not here, forgotten
    The maroon brigade now cry
    The city is now Hibernian
    The team that would not die


    [© Daddy O'Hibee]



    If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself

  13. #13
    Are those C##t's no ****ing deid yet radge



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    Smart-arses.

    Stabbed.

  14. #14
    Radge Private Member
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    People from Shetland that support Sellick or Huns and have zero connection to Glasgow.

    Stabbed.

  15. #15
    Radger Mellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dub View Post
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    I assume that you don't have higher english then Zoomer. If you do, could you edjimicate a poor simpleton on the difference between the two words I have highlighted

    Or did you mean their, there and they're you poor fool

    Who's getting stabbed again then
    Quote Originally Posted by ZemmamasBarnet View Post
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    Smart-arses.

    Stabbed.



  16. #16
    Heavenly Radge and all round bampot! LunaCWsauzee's Avatar
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    Anyone from Scotland who refers to their friend as "dude". I heard my flatmate do it the other day and cringed. You're from $#@!ing Aberdeen, not $#@!ing New York

    Any wanky student who thinks that any overcast day, or any day for that matter, is an excuse for leaving the house wearing three quarter length Canterburys with flip flops should be $#@!ing shot, no questions asked.

    Also anybody who is a big enough muppet to spend 30 on a University "hoodie". Pricks.

  17. #17
    Scruffy Radge jarkko wiss's Avatar
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    Those who say "texties" instead of "texts".
    Those who say "aks" instead of "ask".
    Those who spell genius as genious.
    Txt spk.

  18. #18
    Quite a bit past it radge






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    Quote Originally Posted by jarkko wiss View Post
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    Those who say "texties" instead of "texts".
    Those who say "aks" instead of "ask".
    Those who spell genius as genious.
    Txt spk.
    No text speak.


  19. #19
    Radger Mellie
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    This thread has changed from 'Petty Crimes' to 'Cunnts who deserve to be stabbed'.

    In which case here's my starters for ten.
    SPL referees
    Gordon Smith
    David Cameron
    Weegie taxi drivers
    Michael Stewart
    The cunnt that made The Godfather 3

  20. #20
    A True Gadgie/Gadgess
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Mellie View Post
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    This thread has changed from 'Petty Crimes' to 'Cunnts who deserve to be stabbed'.

    In which case here's my starters for ten.
    SPL referees
    Gordon Smith
    David Cameron
    Weegie taxi drivers
    Michael Stewart
    The cunnt that made The Godfather 3
    How stabbed are we talking? Decorative, severe or fatal?

  21. #21
    Radger Mellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shut yer ane pie! View Post
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    How stabbed are we talking? Decorative, severe or fatal?
    Metophoric stabbing of course[ in case any polis are looking in ] apart from Michael Stewart and Gordon Smith which would be hammer and tongs stabbings.

  22. #22
    Are those C##t's no ****ing deid yet radge



    ZemmamasBarnet's Avatar
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    Here; who's been messing with my thread?

    $#@! it, we can combine. I'm a modern man, I can share. I'm in.

    Michael Stewarts petty crime, other than being a whingeing wee $#@! is not doing us the courtesy of ceasing to breathe.

    He's an oxygen stealing cant; stabbed.

    Keep 'em coming, crime and punishment please.
    FC Union, Unsere Liebe

  23. #23
    Radger Mellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZemmamasBarnet View Post
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    Here; who's been messing with my thread?

    $#@! it, we can combine. I'm a modern man, I can share. I'm in.

    Michael Stewarts petty crime, other than being a whingeing wee $#@! is not doing us the courtesy of ceasing to breathe.

    He's an oxygen stealing cant; stabbed.

    Keep 'em coming, crime and punishment please.
    You let it mutate !

  24. #24
    Are those C##t's no ****ing deid yet radge



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    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Mellie View Post
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    You let it mutate !
    I'll mutate you ya cant; stabbed!
    FC Union, Unsere Liebe

  25. #25
    Radger Mellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZemmamasBarnet View Post
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    I'll mutate you ya cant; stabbed!
    I'll get Bladerunner to ye !

  26. #26
    Are those C##t's no ****ing deid yet radge



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    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Mellie View Post
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    I'll get Bladerunner to PM ye !
    Fixed that for you.

    Stabbed.
    FC Union, Unsere Liebe

  27. #27
    Radger Mellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZemmamasBarnet View Post
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    Fixed that for you.

    Stabbed.

  28. #28
    Radger Mellie
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    Bono
    Elton John
    Stephen Purcell
    Michael Barrymore
    Silvio Berlusconi
    Vladimir Putin
    Pit bulls


    All plunged.

  29. #29
    Radger Mellie
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    These Cunnts










    Stabbed

  30. #30
    Radger Mellie
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  31. #31
    Quite a bit past it radge






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    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Mellie View Post
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    Stabbed
    I'm extremely happy that none of these nonetities register on Shrinkradar.

    However, and I appreciate one should never judge a book etc etc


    Gas them.


  32. #32
    Radger Mellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr Shrink View Post
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    I'm extremely happy that none of these nonetities register on Shrinkradar.

    However, and I appreciate one should never judge a book etc etc


    Gas them.

    They would just love to be gassed,Doctor.

    Stab them.


    With blunt,rusty knives.

  33. #33
    Radger Mellie
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    Cunnts called "Jeremy".

    Kyle

    Beadle

    Clarkson


    Thorpe [Google him]


    Get them horsed in The Coliseum with real lions and gladiators with big new steakys.

  34. #34
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    Can't say i would like to 'stab' this bloke.

    Chibbed.

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by el_fletch View Post
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    Can't say i would like to 'stab' this bloke.

    Chibbed.
    With a rusty chainsaw.

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Mellie View Post
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    With a rusty chainsaw.
    A right old bludgeoning with a spiky claymore may be more appropiate, but I like your creativity

  37. #37
    Radge Private Member







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    People who start useless threads in the hope of getting a little attention of someone!

  38. #38
    Are those C##t's no ****ing deid yet radge



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    Quote Originally Posted by mixu_dave View Post
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    People who start useless threads in the hope of getting a little attention of someone!
    People who respond to useless threads in the hope of getting a little attention off someone; stabbed!

  39. #39
    Radge Private Member
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    The next person to get in my taxi and when asked "where to" answers "The Scheme" it was maybe slightly funny the first 46 times I heard it. Maybe not stab them but drop them off in Ardgour Place then they'll wish i'd stabbed them.

  40. #40
    Radge Private Member







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    Quote Originally Posted by ZemmamasBarnet View Post
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    People who respond to useless threads in the hope of getting a little attention off someone; stabbed!
    your no stabbing me gadge, i've heard all about you and your eh, knife ?/em

  41. #41
    Are those C##t's no ****ing deid yet radge



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    Quote Originally Posted by mixu_dave View Post
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    your no stabbing me gadge, i've heard all about you and your eh, knife ?/em
    It's all lies!

  42. #42
    Radge Private Member







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    Quote Originally Posted by ZemmamasBarnet View Post
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    It's all lies!
    You sure ZB, I personally always thought you didnae seem the kind m8, but after what I read on the toilet walls in CC's am no so certain bud!

  43. #43
    Are those C##t's no ****ing deid yet radge



    ZemmamasBarnet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mixu_dave View Post
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    You sure ZB, I personally always thought you didnae seem the kind m8, but after what I read on the toilet walls in CC's am no so certain bud!
    CC's? Well, why didn't you say so?

    They're true honey xxx

  44. #44
    Radger Mellie
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    Cuunts that carry knives.


    Stabbed.

  45. #45
    Radge Private Member







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    Quote Originally Posted by ZemmamasBarnet View Post
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    CC's? Well, why didn't you say so?

    They're true honey xxx
    Ooooh, you like eh bigger men

  46. #46
    Bounced Out! El Bastardo's Avatar
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    ****s that leave shopping trollies in the last parking space...stabbed in the eye with the spoon I have been sharpening for this purpose.

    ****s that swing on the door of your office while talking to you....stabbed with the lid aff the dried milk tin that I have bent and rusted to cause severe slash scars especially

    ****s that park at the corners where the pavement dips to let ma wheelchair aff...stabbed with a spoke fae my auld wheelchair wheel.

    ****s that talk over the top of you as if yer a wean....stabbed wi a lollipop stick I had covered in lead.


    As you can see I came prepared

  47. #47
    Radger Mellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by El $#@!o View Post
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    ****s that leave shopping trollies in the last parking space...stabbed in the eye with the spoon I have been sharpening for this purpose.

    ****s that swing on the door of your office while talking to you....stabbed with the lid aff the dried milk tin that I have bent and rusted to cause severe slash scars especially

    ****s that park at the corners where the pavement dips to let ma wheelchair aff...stabbed with a spoke fae my auld wheelchair wheel.

    ****s that talk over the top of you as if yer a wean....stabbed wi a lollipop stick I had covered in lead.


    As you can see I came prepared

    I thought you were a wean.

  48. #48
    Radge Private Member
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    People that say wean when they mean bairn.

  49. #49
    Radger Mellie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Westside Green View Post
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    People that say wean when they mean bairn.
    Cuunts that say bairn when they mean brain.

  50. #50
    Radge Donator


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    ****s who come into tesco and ask where something is when they havent even bothered looking for it.
    Stabbed with Marvin from the scheme's used needles.
    keep the faith fellow hibees ticfaidh ar la

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