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Thread: Frank......

  1. #1
    Poker radge Sitting With Pocket Aces HIBEESLIM's Avatar
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    Grinning Frank......

    A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.

    He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're

    just like Frank."



    Passenger: "Who?"



    Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right - all the time!

    Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like

    that to Frank - every single time."

    Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."



    Cabbie: "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an

    opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have

    heard him play the piano."



    Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special"



    Cabbie: "There's more"......." He had a memory like a computer.

    Could remember everybody's

    birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change

    a fuse, and the whole street blacks out."



    Passenger. "Wow, some bloke then"



    Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them."



    Passenger. "Mmm, there's not many like him around."



    Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - the perfect man!"



    Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"



    Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank."



    Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?"



    Cabbie: "I married his f****** widow."

  2. #2
    Easy Now Radge



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    Re: Frank......


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    Hate Hearts Radge
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    Re: Frank......


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    Baby Radge Bring Back The Biff's Avatar
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    Re: Frank......

    like it

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    Loves a Bevy Radge
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    Re: Frank......

    nice 1

  6. #6
    radge grandad radge

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    Re: Frank......



    Think I might nip over to Gorgie Farm and count some Chickens before they've hatched

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    Big Bad Mental Radge Archie1875's Avatar
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    Re: Frank......

    lol

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    Poker radge Sitting With Pocket Aces HIBEESLIM's Avatar
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    Re: Frank......

    Getting Flowers

    A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.....for no reason."
    The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What's the big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"

    The brunette says, "Oh sure.....but he always has expectations after getting me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."

    The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"


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    Re: Frank......

    My Dog Skippy

    A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.
    This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very
    nervous.

    They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
    The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her
    nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost
    making
    her eyes water.
    Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and
    lets
    out a dainty fart.
    It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.

    Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father
    looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's
    chair,
    and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".
    The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her
    face.

    A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
    This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer
    rrrrrip.

    The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!"

    Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!" A few minutes later
    the
    woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about
    it.
    She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

    Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled,
    "Dammit
    Skippy, get away from her, before she $#@!s on you!"

  10. #10
    Can't Think of a Radge to be Radge
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    Re: Frank......

    A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her Class.

    She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to
    gather the building materials for his home.

    She read, "and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full
    of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to
    build my house?"

    The teacher paused then asked the class: "And what do you think The Man
    said?"

    One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly, "I think
    the man would have said: "$#@! me A talking pig!!

  11. #11
    Can't Think of a Radge to be Radge
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    Re: Frank......

    A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up
    and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that
    she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took
    the seat right beside his.

    Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out "Business trip, or
    pleasure?"

    She turned, smiled and said,
    "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention, in
    Chicago."

    He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting
    next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

    Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business
    role at the convention?"

    "Lecturer," she responded. "I am the lead lecturer where I use information
    that I have learned from my own personal experiences to debunk some of the
    popular myths about sexuality."

    "Really," he said, "and what kinds of myths are there?"

    "Well, she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the
    most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian
    who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that
    Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent
    that are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with the
    absolutely best stamina is the Southern Redneck..."

    Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed....
    "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all this with you.
    I don't even know your name."

    "Tonto,"the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

  12. #12
    Easy Now Radge



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    Re: Frank......

    The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning
    and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven . . . which
    part of your body goes first?
    " Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands.
    " "Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"
    Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in
    front of you and God just takes you hands first."

    "What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
    Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your
    legs.
    " The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
    "Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?
    " Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mummy and Daddy's bedroom
    the other night. Mummy had her legs straight up in the air and she was
    saying, "Oh God, I'm coming!
    " If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."

    The nun fainted.

  13. #13
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    Re: Frank......

    Three immigrants, a Frenchman a Pole and a Chinese start working for a building contractors,
    On the first day of work the gaffer says to the Frenchman ok you can start doing the brickwork;
    To the Pole he says you can do the plastering;
    To the Chinese he says your on supplies;

    later in the day the foreman is inspecting the work the French and Polish workers have been doing and is pleased with their efforts but they have stopped because they have no materials, so he sets off round the site looking for the Chinese man.

    As he rounds a corner the Chinese man jumps out and Shouts:

    SUPPLIES! SUPPLIES!

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