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Thread: Just Back - Back in Your Box, Gorgie Mutants

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    Just Back - Back in Your Box, Gorgie Mutants

    Lord Pishybreeks! Alex Salmond! Sir Chris Hoy! Medals McKay! Rudi Skacel! Ronnie Corbett! Wallace Mercer’s missus’s dildo! Jamie Walker’s sister’s pants! Craig Levein - can you hear me, Craig Levein! Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took one hell of a beating!

    Well, maybe not quite that convincing. But there really is nothing quite like a derby win. When it’s under the lights at a stowed out Easter Road, there’s nowhere I’d rather be.

    Tonight, our lot broke from our usual routine. Ever since Behind The Goals was shut, our party has struggled to find a venue on the Abbeyhill side of ER that will take bairns. Mash Tun I dinnae much care for, Safari Lounge equally isnae really the kind of boozer we want to be in pre-match – both a bit hipster for my taste on a fitba day. So, at the suggestion of one of our number, we went down to The Hoppy on Marionville Road, and I’m pleased to say it looks a contender for our continued pre-match custom. Lucky them.

    Starting lineup was discussed:

    Rocky
    Roger-Efe-Hanlon-Lewy
    SJM-Barts-McGeouch
    Squirrel-Murray-Barker

    Our collective verdict was, er, mixed. Who’d be a fitba manager?

    After a few civilised scoops, as we stood to leave you could feel the tingle in your guts as jackets and scarves were donned, and I rarely walk with such an unconsciously purposeful gait as when ‘going over the top’ to face the Hertz. For advocates of summer fitba (I’m not one), I’d cite nights like tonight: there’s nothing quite like filing along successively busier, darkened streets, then finally turning a corner to be greeted with the edifice of ER lighting up the night sky. And when it’s this particular fixture, you can literally feel the air crackle with intensity. This was especially conspicuous tonight, as my Uncle Mike was in our number having just returned from Perth, Australia after nearly 30 years. You could just see it in his face! Pure, undisguised joy written all over the coupon of a grown man in his 60s – I’m sure it’s a feeling all you expats reading will resonate with. I $#@!in love the fitba, I really do.

    So we headed in to take our usual seats in the East, just in time for the teams coming out. The mutant hordes were in full voice. The TV cameras were here, somehow just seeing the commentary gantry adds a wee something. Our ends were bullish and expectant. Huge Phallus’s laddie blew the whistle – and so to the game:

    Here’s where it just got better.

    You know, right up to 90 mins, I was in my usual state of high anxiety, but when the whistle blew, it was like objectivity was completely restored: we were never losing that game. Hertz were utterly honking, and very Hertz, and very Harry Potter.

    I thought we dodged a bullet about 16 mins in though – that looked a stonewall penalty from where I was sitting! No matter, Hertz got what they deserved, i.e. nowt, and Hibs got what they deserved, i.e. 3 points.

    Players:

    Marciano – largely untroubled, and dealt with that one shot straight down his throat. Couldn’t see the stramash circa 70 mins, as I’d literally fell over while losing my $#@! a bit.

    Whittaker – the good, the bad, and the ugly: gives us so much more going forward that Sir David (it pains me to say), and should have burst the net about 43 mins when the ball rebounded to him. However, dived in a couple of times and conceded dangerous situations. I like Roger, though, he seems like derbies ain’t no thing.

    Efe – immense, I thought, not only doing the simple things well, but a couple of “olé!” moments, and always looking to bring the ball out and use it.

    Hanlon – Well, Lafferty did the square root of FA, which was down to Paul’s superb marshalling.

    Lewis – First half as good in an attacking sense as I’ve seen for a while, rest of the time predictably dependable.

    Barts – the totem pole in the middle of the park around which the rest of the team revolved. Also, what insurance he offers us – around 51m he single-handedly mopped up a situation that could’ve went south. A rock, and clearly LOVES a derby.

    Dylan – what can I say, the guy is better than SJM for me, when he’s fit and firing, as he is now. My uncle was blown away by his use of the ball, composure, and for me he has added a bit of forward impetus these last few weeks. Simply a joy to watch, and my MOM.

    SJM – did what SJM does. The way he uses his body is phenomenal, and contributed a good couple of our most dangerous shots on goal. In the last ten mins or so, he was a $#@!in Apache, keeping the ball up the park. Kicked to fcuk throughout, and cared not a jot – just kept hurting them.

    Boyle – quiet first half, but for me every time he got the ball and faced up the full back, something happened. Should’ve put his laces through it towards the end rather than cut inside.

    Barker – best game for Hibs? Terrorised them first half. Faded, but I’m reliably informed was in tears at the end as we were belting out SOL. Nice work tonight, son.

    Murray – quiet, but my god did he lash his goal into the roof of the net. Good enough for me!

    The two Leithuanians came on towards the end – Dave put himself about, and Slivka was tidy, but it was all about our starting 11 tonight. Better than Hearts, 1 to 11. End of.

    In general we lost our way a bit on the hour mark, but other than that, there’s only one $#@!in football team in Edinburgh currently, and it’s us. They were murder – like, really, really bad. Very Levein.

    Would’ve liked to have really rubbed their noses in it, but make no mistake – Hertz were lucky to get nil, and were dominated throughout.

    I’d finally like to credit tonight’s Just Back as something of a collective effort, informed not just by my own opinion, but also that of Cris, Craig, Andy, wee Cammy, Uncle Mike, Kimberley, and Callum. And as it’s my first go, to recognise the far more sustained efforts of @1875 and @SKII on countless matchdays past.

    GGTTH and $#@! The Hearts!
    Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'...

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    Fantastic report.Take a bow.

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    Thanks Aggie. I feel like Neil Lennon - picking the Just Back match winner for tonight. Hope you're up for doing another later in the season
    Hibs are standing on the brink of history...

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    That, pishy hands, is a magnificent Just Back, I thoroughly enjoyed that!
    nil satis nisi optimum

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    Radge Private Member

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    Great report Aggie, my favourite tonight was big marv, Dylan was best player but Marvin read every sneeky gunt situation well and put the boot in when needed.

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    Easy Now Radge



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    Good stuff, Aggie Have no fear it wasn't a pen. It was without doubt outside the box. Huzzah!


    Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk

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    radge grandad radge

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    Well done Aggie, a great read mate.


    Think I might nip over to Gorgie Farm and count some Chickens before they've hatched

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    Great report...

    Best Hibs performance I've seen this season. No failures. My only gripe was we should have scored more and it is a concern that we are not scoring enough goals. That will come hopefully...tonight just an excellent team performance. Hearts looked disjointed and lacked creativity. They came at us in the second half and we had one or two scares, but overall they didn't trouble us much and Marciano didn't have a lot to do.
    "I can't stress enough how important it is to be in possession of the football - it is better to be the matador rather than the bull"

    John Hughes

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    Spot on report . Cheers.
    With hindsight, it was never in doubt. We really should have nailed them when we had them by throat first half hour . The stadium was rocking and we almost let them off the hook. But hooked they were , we own these fannies just now . About time , and long may it last.
    Effe , Hanlon , Barts were top drawer, Dylan was , yet again, the best midfielder, not only on the park , but in Scotland . I truly believe that .
    Gunts are pish, gunts are pish gunts are pish , I can't really say that enough, it makes me happy.
    I believed before the game that this would mould both our seasons , I am convinced now .
    God bless the Hibs xxxxxxx

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    Hibernian, Hibernian Ra Ra Radge



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    Cheers @aggie. Great report mate.

    Dylan - unplayable
    SJM - unstoppable
    Big Marv - unflappable

    Brilliant performance all round from the Hibees that deserved more. Had it been 3 or 4 nil it wouldn't have flattered us one bit.
    They're gone, not here, forgotten
    The maroon brigade now cry
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    Just back in my Hotel. Thought it was Boyler who fluffed the chance at the end of the first, so apols if it wasn't him,

    Classic Derby with both teams going at it, but the extra bit of quality was all ours. Maybe 2 or 3 nil would have been a better reflection in terms of chances, but I think they put in more effort than in the last three visits but still absolute bobbar when it comes to genuine chances.

    Wasn't feeling it all week, wasn't feeling it until getting in the ground, but bloody hell is beating them ever going to get boring?? Answer in words using only two letters please.


    Happy.And proud.

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    ****ed off Radge

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    Spot on!
    Well done, thanks!
    Illegitimi non carborundum.

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    Excellent Just Back mate.

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    Great report. One of the things that stood out for me was that we never tried to defend our lead. Always attacked and played fitba right to the end. Brilliant. Thanks for your report.

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    Great report and quite right, Hearts are $#@!e and summer football can bolt.
    until the sky turns green

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    Excellent, great work Aggie
    "Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

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    Ach, you make me very homesick with reports like that Aggie. Been about 20 years since I was in The Hoppy but reading that it felt like i was with you and your clan supping some beer then heading around Lochend Road to the ground. Early goal, anyone gonna admit they were still in the bogs when that went in?

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    Good read.

    Hibs were superb and I agree with McGeouch man of the match. He was brilliant.

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    What a huge difference playing with two out and out wingers. In the past we've relied on Gray and Stevenson to supply balls in to the box. Having Barker and Boyle backed up by Stevenson and Whitaker made a huge difference. I'd like to see us keep that shape and set up going forward.

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    Quite a bit past it radge






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    @aggie

    Absolute quality.


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    Perfect Aggers.

    Wasnae a penalty, yer just doon fae me in the East so you should ken that!

    Brandon didnae track his runner - his only fault of the first half - and it was silly of Hanlon to dive in but the foul was outside the box despite the mutant falling in it.

    Berra shamed himself at that point running the length of the pitch to Demand a penalty. Reminds me of that time that fanny Martin O'Neill and that wee $#@! Neil Lennon did similar in separate incidents down the touchline.

    Oops, Sorry Neil. Yer barry now mate.

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    Enjoyed that @aggie

    The Hoppy, up for pub of the year somehow, along with The Bunch!

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    I Was There And Went Radge


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    Excellent report @aggie
    Seems like there's a hole in my dreams, or so it seems

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    Thanks for the report Aggie, watched it on the telly and cannae disagree wi' anything you said. Definately wisnae a pen. GGTTH

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    Absolutely brilliant summary, thank you for taking the time to do it!
    so what do I know

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    Formation felt balanced to me. I imagine Hearts' utter crapness helped, but we seemed to have the right mix in midfield which has sometimes been a bit of a challenge this season. Before I've always felt they find it tricky to combine Dylan and Marvin but yesterday it worked beautifully. Also there seemed to be much more space for Lewis and Whittaker and even Hanlon (and to a lesser extent sometimes even Efe) to go or stay forward.
    so what do I know

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    Brilliant read that @aggie !
    "There's class, there's first class, and there's Hibs class" - Eddie Turnbull

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    Cheers aggie enjoyable read

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    Thanks aggie, I enjoyed reading your Just Back.

    I am optimistic that our unbeaten run will continue beyond the match on 27th of December; we were missing Daz, Stokesy and Danny they are suggesting their missing 'stars' Hughes, Cowie , Djoum and Buaben will make a bigger difference, ah dinnae think so

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    Great report @aggie. Thanks!

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    We never looked like conceding. A few more goals for us and a couple of red cards for them would've been fair.

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    Outstanding aggie. Thoroughly enjoyed reading that. GGTTH
    Pretend that you owe me nothing
    And all the world is green
    We can bring back the old days again
    And all the world is green

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