hearts fans are just rubbish aren't they?

[egb_hibs]

i mean really. check this 'parody' of trainspotting currently wowing the dolts on keeckback, and then think of versions done by hibbies.

"Choose life…choose waiting for the Elm Bar to open along with all the Leith alkies…choose going into Vinyl Villains for the first time in 10 years…choose seats in the front row of the top tier…choose the best atmosphere in the Hearts end I can ever remember…choose yet another Hibby keeper flapping at a cross…choose Zaliukas, the worst player ever to score a fantastic winning goal in a derby…choose mini pitch invasions…choose “You’ve won the league Cup, but we don’t give a ****** cos its 105 in a row (or in my case Dave, we don’t give a ****** bout your Wild Bill Hickock!)…choose staying behind for 40 minutes to ruin their parade of the diddy cup…choose 1,000 Hearts fans with their shoes in the air singing “shoes off if you hate Hibees”…choose stunned Hibbys watching in silence whilst the whole Hearts end waits behind singing “bring out the Wee Cup” to the tune of “we are the people”…choose the whole Hearts end in synchronised movements (to the tune of the Pompey chimes, Henry Henry etc) “Big team, big cup” (whilst pointing to ourselves) “Wee team, wee cup” (whilst pointing to them) for about 10 minutes of absolute ******in hilarity…choose being evicted by the police…choose walking up Easter Road like we own the ******in place…choose out worst season ever but still being 8 points in front of the dockers…choose John “box heid” Collins admitting it was a mistake to parade their cup after the game…choose Craig Gordon saying that it was Sponge Bob Square Heid Collin’s description of us as a “pub team” that motivated the players to the win…choose Stevie Frail running to the Hearts fans at the end…choose the whole team, hand in hand, doing the Klinsman dive in front of us whilst spewing Leithers got chucked out for going “rajed”…choose fights in Mathers Bar after the game…choose Peter Marinello trying to sit in Gary’s seat in Mathers…choose King Ribs oot of the Rapido…choose John Mitchell being at Flamingo Land instead of Easter Road…choose life…choose being a JAMBO…FTH!"

notice the yam's innate lack of aesthetic sense evident in the fact the auteur has completely missed the point of the original's succession of short, percusive, statements, it's punchiness and rhythm. consider the further missed point - that of the satire, or even just plain humour, that should emerge from the collection of choices presented. consider the ludicrous over-exposition required to explain to a yam audience how the "big team big cup" song went. in fact, just read this again:

"choose the whole Hearts end in synchronised movements (to the tune of the Pompey chimes, Henry Henry etc) “Big team, big cup” (whilst pointing to ourselves) “Wee team, wee cup” (whilst pointing to them) for about 10 minutes of absolute ******in hilarity"

fuckin hilarity, mind.
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consider, in fact, that this piece bears no resemblance whatsoever to the trainspotting sequence it attempts to emulate, other than beginning each statement with 'choose'.

it's no wonder that the hearts support has conspicously failed to be represented in the various arts the way our own has been. there's something fundamentally inadequate about yams. they're like the guy in the crowd who just doesn't quite get it - who laughs at the wrong bits, whose timing just isn't quite right, who can't gel with other people.

on a more serious note; many yams also suffer from erectile disfunction.

[NI Hibby]

notice the yam's innate lack of aesthetic sense evident in the fact the auteur has completely missed the point of the original's succession of short, percusive, statements, it's punchiness and rhythm. consider the further missed point - that of the satire, or even just plain humour, that should emerge from the collection of choices presented. consider the ludicrous over-exposition required to explain to a yam audience how the "big team big cup" song went. in fact, just read this again:

"choose the whole Hearts end in synchronised movements (to the tune of the Pompey chimes, Henry Henry etc) “Big team, big cup” (whilst pointing to ourselves) “Wee team, wee cup” (whilst pointing to them) for about 10 minutes of absolute ******in hilarity"

fuckin hilarity, mind. :deadpan


consider, in fact, that this piece bears no resemblance whatsoever to the trainspotting sequence it attempts to emulate, other than beginning each statement with 'choose'.

it's no wonder that the hearts support has conspicously failed to be represented in the various arts the way our own has been. there's something fundamentally inadequate about yams. they're like the guy in the crowd who just doesn't quite get it - who laughs at the wrong bits, whose timing just isn't quite right, who can't gel with other people.

Beautifully disected Dr Egb
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on a more serious note; many yams also suffer from erectile disfunction.

Ah, now that explains a lot.

[KeithTheHibee]

Yams
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always make me laugh. Pathetic.

[Johnny Vegas]

choose what team you'll support instead of hearts in 5 years time

[KeithTheHibee]

They really are pathetic aren't they, just thought I should say it again. ****s the lot of them. Just be happy they won't be around this time next year
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[Frazhibs]

they were acting as if they had won the treble not a meaningless derby that we couldn't care less about as we played the football and they kicked us instead of the ball

[cavalier]

Originally Posted by Fraz-1875-
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they were acting as if they had won the treble not a meaningless derby that we couldn't care less about as we played the football and they kicked us instead of the ball

Aye right!!

No such thing as a meaningless derby, if that was the case why are you discussing it??
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[KeithTheHibee]

Originally Posted by cavalier
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Aye right!!

No such thing as a meaningless derby, if that was the case why are you discussing it??
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We are merely discussing how pathetic the Yam supporters are.

[Johnny Vegas]

Originally Posted by Almighty Hibee
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We are merely discussing how pathetic the Yam supporters are.

you said we couldn't care less about the game yesterday-some attitude that

so if we'd won yesterday you wouldn't have been bothered

[egb_hibs]

i think the point is rather that the yams are over-celebrating somewhat, in way that can only be described as 'tinged with hysteria'.

they are quite literally partying like there's no tomorrow
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[KeithTheHibee]

Originally Posted by Johnny Vegas
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you said we couldn't care less about the game yesterday-some attitude that

so if we'd won yesterday you wouldn't have been bothered

I didn't actually say that, I was quite close to rippin my eyes out their sockets as I couldn't believe they were winning. Like Cavalier said, there's no such thing as a meaningless derby, but this thread was started to discuss how pathetic the yam supporters are, by taking their celebrations wayyyyy too far.

[Johnny Vegas]

Originally Posted by egb_hibs
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i think the point is rather that the yams are over-celebrating somewhat, in way that can only be described as 'tinged with hysteria'.

they are quite literally partying like there's no tomorrow :doorman

agreed

but a derby win's a derby win

[Johnny Vegas]

Originally Posted by Almighty Hibee
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I didn't actually say that, I was quite close to rippin my eyes out their sockets as I couldn't believe they were winning. Like Cavalier said, there's no such thing as a meaningless derby, but this thread was started to discuss how pathetic the yam supporters are, by taking their celebrations wayyyyy too far.

my apologies-got my posts a bit confused

[KeithTheHibee]

Originally Posted by Johnny Vegas
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my apologies-got my posts a bit confused

Quite alright
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[persevered]

Choose the long ball game. Choose racism. Choose Stephen Hendry. Choose shaggin yer sister. Choose H**rts.

[Seven Tattoos]

You shouldn't generalise they say, but the thing with generalisations is they're (irony of ironies) generally right. By that I mean you'll be right more often than you're wrong, e.g. effeminate poofs, humourless bizzies, patronising teachers, small penised traffic wardens. All these generalisations are generally true.

Similarly, in a football context, a majority of huns are ignorant, imperialistic, servile retards. And their cousins along the M8 often don't even have those redeeming features. They mirror their team in that they have no style, no imagination, no finesse, no panache. They're the athletic equivalent of painting by numbers. No artistry.

The majority of you may not have seen this cos you were at the game, but as I sat, frustrated, willing those ****s to move yesterday the Setanta
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panned in on one particularly repulsive cretin in their end (in Black Adder terms he would be Mr Ploppy, Daddy Ploppy, you get the picture) with a glove puppet of Mickey Mouse on his right hand. And this phuckin' attention seeking mongo was waving it about like he'd just discovered gold up his arsehole.

Even other hertzkantz were ignoring him, like he was the Jambo equivalent of Jeremy Beadle (got a tiny coq, but on the other hand).

Phuckin' glove puppets. A team whose support derive inspiration from Bob Phucking Carolgees.

Funny that, cos there's more than a passing resemblance between the Hellman's Mayonaise ads man from the 80s and their nemesis.

And Albert Kidd certainly took the ****s up the erse.

[©stretch]

Choose
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Choose
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Choose
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Choose
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Choose
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Choose
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[egb_hibs]

Originally Posted by Seven Tattoos
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You shouldn't generalise they say, but the thing with generalisations is they're (irony of ironies) generally right. By that I mean you'll be right more often than you're wrong, e.g. effeminate poofs, humourless bizzies, patronising teachers, small penised traffic wardens. All these generalisations are generally true.

Similarly, in a football context, a majority of huns are ignorant, imperialistic, servile retards. And their cousins along the M8 often don't even have those redeeming features. They mirror their team in that they have no style, no imagination, no finesse, no panache. They're the athletic equivalent of painting by numbers. No artistry.

The majority of you may not have seen this cos you were at the game, but as I sat, frustrated, willing those ****s to move yesterday the Setanta
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panned in on one particularly repulsive cretin in their end (in Black Adder terms he would be Mr Ploppy, Daddy Ploppy, you get the picture) with a glove puppet of Mickey Mouse on his right hand. And this phuckin' attention seeking mongo was waving it about like he'd just discovered gold up his arsehole.

Even other hertzkantz were ignoring him, like he was the Jambo equivalent of Jeremy Beadle (got a tiny coq, but on the other hand).

Phuckin' glove puppets. A team whose support derive inspiration from Bob Phucking Carolgees.

Funny that, cos there's more than a passing resemblance between the Hellman's Mayonaise ads man from the 80s and their nemesis.

And Albert Kidd certainly took the ****s up the erse.

you see, this is my point exactly.

colleagues, i invite you to consider mr tattoo's salvo by way of comparison with the dead-soulled twittering of the anonymous jambo laureate.

this, i say again, is my point.

[snoots]

Originally Posted by Seven Tattoos
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You shouldn't generalise they say, but the thing with generalisations is they're (irony of ironies) generally right. By that I mean you'll be right more often than you're wrong, e.g. effeminate poofs, humourless bizzies, patronising teachers, small penised traffic wardens. All these generalisations are generally true.

Similarly, in a football context, a majority of huns are ignorant, imperialistic, servile retards. And their cousins along the M8 often don't even have those redeeming features. They mirror their team in that they have no style, no imagination, no finesse, no panache. They're the athletic equivalent of painting by numbers. No artistry.

The majority of you may not have seen this cos you were at the game, but as I sat, frustrated, willing those ****s to move yesterday the Setanta
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panned in on one particularly repulsive cretin in their end (in Black Adder terms he would be Mr Ploppy, Daddy Ploppy, you get the picture) with a glove puppet of Mickey Mouse on his right hand. And this phuckin' attention seeking mongo was waving it about like he'd just discovered gold up his arsehole.

Even other hertzkantz were ignoring him, like he was the Jambo equivalent of Jeremy Beadle (got a tiny coq, but on the other hand).

Phuckin' glove puppets. A team whose support derive inspiration from Bob Phucking Carolgees.

Funny that, cos there's more than a passing resemblance between the Hellman's Mayonaise ads man from the 80s and their nemesis.

And Albert Kidd certainly took the ****s up the erse.

When Romanov took over a Hearts fan I know claimed they'd be fine financially under him, and that the "plan" was to build a huge football complex on the edge of the city which would bring in monies to fund the football club

Well one thing is right - he's built them a huge complex.

In my experience Jambo's (with very few exceptions that I know of) talk utter shite when they discuss football.

All the "Big Team" "Wee Team" garbage they come out with shows exactly where their heads are at - Personal Inadequecy.

If they are such a "Big Team", and that's a big "if" - then they are without doubt the worst "Big Team" in the history of football. They are gnats in terms of football.

Also their are things Hibs have achieved in Football that Hearts will never ever do and could never ever achieve in the past.

Now that the clock's running down on them they'll not be achieving much at all soon.

[Kenny]

choose

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