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21-12-06, 20:34
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#1 |
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Cantankerous Old Radge
    
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McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
“Iron” Rod Petrie has so far resisted arch-villain McCock’s attempts to extort cash from the Club. At a secret location, in Govan, McCock briefs his clients on his plans.
McCock: Right lads. I’ve arranged for ma bitch JacksHun tae pit oot mair dross in his paper to rile up they Hibs fans and that **** Petrie. It’s time fir me tae up the ante. Kev: Please don’t do that Mr McKay. My mum is still furious about getting in the papers, my auntie will go daft. McCock: Whit? Naw son. UP THE ANTE, naw up yer fcukin auntie. Fcuks sake. Ma racehorses are brighter than you. Fcukin Shergar is easier tae find than your fcuking brain son. There’s a wee bid comin’ fae Charlton just tae rile up Petrie an geese you a chance tae say that he’s a choob for no meeting me or selling youse. OK? Clear enough? Kev: But Mr McKay, I’m not Irish. McCock: Naw son, yer no. That’s just a cheap fcuking stereotype. You’re basically just plain fcukin thick. But what’s yer point? Kev: Mr Charlton is the Irish manager. Why does he want me? My mummy says I was found under a cabbage in Scotland. By a stork I think. McCock: Son, you are moronic on so many fcukin levels a cannae keep up. CHARLTON ATHLETIC for fcuks sake. And Boaby Charlton isnae even in the game anymore, I don’t think he even owns Man U now, far less managing fcuking Ireland. Where do you get your info son? Kev: It’s in my football annual. But it is quite old. They cost quite a lot, and mummy couldn’t afford to get me one every year. It’s got all my scraps and pressed flowers in it. It’s “Jackie” Charlton though. You can’t say “Boaby” because that’s a bad bad word. My coach at Hibs used to be called “Boaby” and Mr Sauzee said it meant front-bottom. He said it meant prick too, so I’m not really sure. I think Mr Sauzee was foreign. Anyway, I like being captain because lots of Hibs fans have started to give me a salute in the street now. Mummy says she has disowned me so I don’t think she has to pay for me anymore, and my dad must have won money or something because he just sits in the house drinking on his own every night, and he could never afford that before I was this famous. McCock: Fcukin hell. I wish a hadnae asked. Look son, maybe it’s time fir you tae just shut the fcuk up fir a wee spell. Nae wonder JacksHun struggles tae make you sound fcukin normal in his rag. Am thinking that wee Scotty here should make his voice heard, that right Scotty son? Scott: Ya beezer! Everyone gonna hear my voices! They no have tae shurrup now. They no just speak to me no more. Everybody listen! Fandabbidosey! Who wants to play “Stamp the Worm?” Kev: I’ll play, but I’m keeping my trackies on this time. Mummy said you’re a dirty boy. McCock: Fcuk me. I’ve goat one fcukin Mammy’s Boy and one fcukin Psycho oan ma hands. If it wisnae fir the easy money, I mean my sense of injustice that youse are on buttons………… just fcuk off an I’ll phone the **** and see if I can sort it oot. ******************************************************************* Rodders: Ah Mr McCock! The bilious bookie himself. McCock: You’ve no seen ma fcuking bill yet, but don’t you fcuking worry. Ma bill will follow follow when am finished ripping ……..negotiating on behalf of ma clients and earning me a good wedge. Erm……I mean earning a good wedge themselves obviously. Then youse will pay for it. I’m renowned for my accounts son. Biggest account in the business. That’s whit they call me. An you think you can treat me as if am some sort of fcuking idiot? Rodders: How very perspicacious of you Mr McCock. McCock: You think so? Well am no sweating at all pal. Ma fcuking racehorses dinnae even sweat. Sweating……… nae mair. Ha ha. Get it? NAE MARE! Get it up ye. That’s better than your 'take a seat' fcuking joke Mr Funny-as- Fcuk Chairman. Rodders: Quite so Mr McCock. Now, you were phoning with a proposal I believe? McCock: Correctamundo. A am. Let Scotty go tae the Chosen Yins in January and you can keep the mummy’s boy. He’s no wanting any mair money now, his maw seems to be sorted oot so am no interested in a percentage of fcukall. He just says he wants to be capped an he’ll stay with yous. Rodders: I’m sorry Mr McCock. I exert no influence on picking the national side. You should maybe make that request through your lodge. McCock: Naw naw. Fcuks sake, no that. There’s only wan team in blue an it’s no fcuking Scoatland. He wants capped at Hibs. He wants to stay as captain, and he wants a captain’s hat to wear. One like that gadgie wi the eyeshadow in thon Pirates of the Carryonfilm. Rodders: I see. If he gets to dress up, he’ll stay. He wants to wear a big black hat. And lots of mascara. Is he Adam Ant? ( © Jimmyhibs Hibees Bounce 1998) McCock: Aye. He’s made his mind up. A telt him a could get him a move where he gets to wear a sash as well as a hat, but he’s jist wantin tae stay here now. Rodders: Both Mr Brown and Mr Thomson will be here until I decide differently. There really isn’t anything more to be said, no matter what nonsense your gutterpress guttersnipe chooses to write. Good day to you Mr McCock. McCock: Is that fcuking right Sunbeam. Well I’ll tell you this, you can’t ignore me. Hello? I said you can’t ignore me. Hello? HELLO!! This phone must be fcuked.
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21-12-06, 20:41
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#2 |
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Away doing some work for a few weeks
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
Outstanding.
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21-12-06, 20:49
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#3 |
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Alba Gu Brath Radge
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
quality
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21-12-06, 20:56
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#4 |
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A True Gadgie/Gadgess
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
Ma breeks are 'aw pishy noo' !!!!
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Keith JacksHun - Poodle of David Murray, Lapdog of Willie McKay and Gimp-In-Chief to Scotland's Shame. |
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21-12-06, 21:04
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#5 |
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Radge Donator
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. pure dead brilliant and aw that To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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21-12-06, 21:09
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#6 |
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A Radge for all seasons
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
A genius with way too much time on your hands Doc
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They're gone, not here, forgotten The maroon brigade now cry The city is now Hibernian The team that would not die. [copyright: Daddy O'Hibee] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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21-12-06, 21:12
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#7 |
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Duke of Radgaria
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
Cheeky wee bottle of red open then????
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..."I am the Shape Of Things To Come, the Lord of the Flies, Holder Of The Sword Sinister… The Death-Bringer… I am the one who waits on the edge of your dreams… I am all these things and many more…" |
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21-12-06, 21:14
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#8 |
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Just A Radge Admin
 
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
Outstanding Doc,now go have a lie down
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Jamie - Hibeesbounce Technical Team. For all technical issues.. please email To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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21-12-06, 21:21
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#9 |
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Radge Private Member
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
Quality stuff
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21-12-06, 22:04
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#10 | |
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Cantankerous Old Radge
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
Quote:
You know me so well. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. For the avoidance of doubt, anything stated in the above post is written without prejudice; is probably completely uninformed opinion, and possibly just a figment of my imagination. Readers should either ignore, treat with contempt, or simply accept the spirit it is written in, without recourse to huffy replies, legal action or threats of violence.
That includes YOU. |
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21-12-06, 22:34
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#11 |
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Radge Private Member
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
I take it your xmas nite oot ended early, hence having far too much time on your hands
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22-12-06, 13:02
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#12 | |
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Cantankerous Old Radge
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
Quote:
Well, that's me off for another "lunch" so maybe I should hide the keyboard now so I won't be able to find it later on...... To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. For the avoidance of doubt, anything stated in the above post is written without prejudice; is probably completely uninformed opinion, and possibly just a figment of my imagination. Readers should either ignore, treat with contempt, or simply accept the spirit it is written in, without recourse to huffy replies, legal action or threats of violence.
That includes YOU. |
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22-12-06, 13:20
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#13 |
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Radge Donator
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
Absolutely brilliant
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22-12-06, 13:36
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#14 |
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Radge Donator
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
Quite magnificent
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22-12-06, 13:54
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#15 |
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Radge Private Member
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
We should get Jonathan Watson to do this on only an excuse. Would be best bit of the show.
Pure genius. |
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22-12-06, 18:01
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#16 |
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Baby Radge
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
Pure ker-wality
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22-12-06, 19:34
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#17 |
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Toddler Radge
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
I'm trying to think how Johnathon Wason could get Chick Young or Frank McAvennie into this story, seeing as they are the only two people he can do. So to speak.
Anyway, I'm beginning to think SB has burnet his bridges, but lets lay off Kev - he mights still have a future at ER. Sell one and marginally improve the wage structure. |
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22-12-06, 20:25
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#18 |
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Freeloading Admin Radge
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
just got a swatch o' this Doc
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The Daily Record
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22-12-06, 22:19
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#19 |
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Auld Granny Radge
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Re: McCock puts more pressure on Hibs Chairman. (A non-factual tale)
Brilliant
I'm looking forward to Part To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 2
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22-12-06, 22:55
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#20 |
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Cantankerous Old Radge
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