Forthcoming Season

[Louis Prima]

God I hate the close season
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Mind you theres a few folk on here that wouldn't have minded it lasting a couple of weeks longer
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Anyhoo what do peeps think will happen over the next 10 months
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SPL

1st Old Firm United Who gives a toss
2nd Old Firm United reserves Who gives a toss

Actually I can never pass on an opportunity to have a go at these bigoted twats

Gordon Strachan will further let the pressure of managing the smellies turn him from being an erudite humorous guy who I used to enjoy listening to into an even more girnier wee nyaff with a huge persecution complex. The weegia will once again ignore the fact that there are three or four players who will never play for them, take huge salaries and must be laughing their nads off. Basically ripping the piss if you ask me.
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Over on the smellier side of the street Wattie will once again try to kid everybody on that he is not a thug in a tracksuit while Martin Bain will baffle the entire population of the world with his flawed logic. Excluding the sons of William of course (I really could be doing with a particular smilie here)

The next four places is where it gets awfy interesting. In no particular order. Motherwell, I have never seen the point of this mob. In fact if you have a good look at there recent history it could be proved that they are up there with the pond life on the cheating stakes
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However Big Jaw Mgraw (henceforth known as BJ) has got them playing decent football. The cracks are appearing and I don't think they will emulate the success of last year.

Dundee Utd. Craig Levein will have them even stronger this year. He has made a couple of astute signings and I reckon they will do well (see what I did there)

Hertz. If shabby actually gets that large and somewhat talented squad motivated and gelled they could do extraordinarily well. Hopefully Mad Vlad will do his usual and come along and prise defeat from the jaws of victory. In fact I hope he makes a real horses dangler of something financial and they get docked 30 points thus relegating them. One can only hope
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Hibs. OK you fellys are much more knowledgeable than me but heres my take on things. Petrie is not going to open up the coffers. As such Mixu has to motivate the good players that he has and there are a few. Shields and Fletcher impress me and Mixu has to put his size 9s up John Rankins erse. This is a quality player who has not played to his full ability at ER. If Mixu does not get it right and sharpish I reckon he will be out before Halloween.

Falkirk, as usual we will have to play against biased referees, jaundiced press and everybody else in the league will be conspiring to cheat us out of our first SPL title which we so richly deserve
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This, I reckon will be Yogis last season at Falkirk. He has made no secret of his desire to go darn sarf and to achieve this Falkirk will have to finish in the top six. He has taken a massive gamble on the players he has brought in. If it pays off it will do so handsomely, if not relegation battle here we come.

Aberdeen. I remebeer when they were the consistent third force in Scottish football.
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Then Alex Ferguson came along and ruined by making them thgink they were better and bigger than they are. Tried for years to buy/emulate that success and are now in the grubber. I reckon the space hopper will be bounced out the sheep pen before xmas.

Killie as above, skint and Jumbo's jacket on shoogly peg.

ICT punched above their weight for years mid table again. Although Brewster will be getting scrutinised.

St Midden might get a lift from their new stadium(The Meffadome) but willl probably stagger into their usual ninth place

Hamilton. Anybody that wins the first division as comfortably as they did deserves respect. Cant see them going back down right away and they have got to be better than gretna
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Anyhoo

1 Scum 1
2 Scum 2
3 Dundee Utd
4 Falkirk (Aye I know
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)
5 Hibs
6 Motherwell
7 Aberdeen
8 ICT
9 St Mirren
10 Hamilton
11 Killie
12 Hertz (deducted 30 points for financial irregularities)


So there you have it. And if this is accurate as previous predictions this will bear absolutely no resemblance to the final table.
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[GforGallo]

1. old firm 1
2. old firm 2

3rd is a battle between 3 teams, hibs, hearts and dundee united. I think dundee united will get it
4th hibs or hearts, as said, if mad vlad can piss about big style its ours, if not, i think hearts have the edge
5th hearts or hibs
6th aberdeen, they always seem to make top 6
7th falkirk, better than the pish below them but still not good enough for top 6
8th m'well, struggle big time, stretched squad, loss of phil o donnel and ross mcormack.
9-12th, who cares.

as an aside who would everyone say is the 7th biggest team in scotland, for me the top 6th are the old firm, hibs n hearts and the old firm(in no particular order) but who is 7th?