Dont give a fly **** about the rantic but this is funny

[ChopperLaw]

Mike McCurry Referee

*

Ace referee Mick McFlurry takes you step by step through a typical
Old Firm day for the match referee:


1. Always a bit of a sleepless night, the night before an Old Firm
game so I find myself wide awake at 4.30am. Being a man of the cloth
I decide to spend some time reading extracts from my bible,
particularly the parts about treating others as they treat you and
loving thy neighbours.

2. Arrive at my favourite ground in the entire world where the
hospitality displayed by all is first class. Receive warm embrace
from Walter (we go back a long way) and hear one or two tremendously
funny tales from the cheeky wee chappy McCoist, who happily poses for
pictures and signs autographs for some of my relatives. What a guy.

3. Go into the away dressing room to share a few words just prior to
kick off but find Father Burns in the middle of some Rosemary prayer
ritual with the players and am shocked to find even the Protestants
giving it Hail Mary! Being a Christian, Father Burns extends an
invite to myself to join in and share a pre-match spiritual moment to
which I politely decline and quickly hurry out the room. I may be a
Christian but I'm not THAT type of Christian!

4. Walk onto the pitch with the teams and am immediately greeted by a
tremendous roar from the most loyal fans in world football. Get the
two captains together to toss the coin and receive a friendly grip of
the hand from Barry.

5. I intend to put my mark on the game as soon as possible and that
young Australian ruffian McDonald provides me with the ideal
opportunity after he puts his ankle into the home keepers studs and I
present him with a yellow card. The ex-convict pleads his case by
stating McGregor stamped on his foot but I laugh it off as there's no
way a fine young Presbyterian chap would do such a thing. To prove my
point three home team players immediately surround McDonald and offer
him a friendly welcome to our place shove on the chest. Great guys.

6. A little while later that Italian thug offers me no option other
than to show my second yellow card of the match. Come on an Italian
with his hair dyed red, its obvious one of Rome's sons has been sent
to wind up the people from God's chosen country and I will not
tolerate this.

7. Just on the half hour mark and bang, goal for the Teddies! I see
young Hutton running all the way past the away support giving them a
friendly wave before jumping on top of Spain's finest evangelical
follower. It really takes all my restraint to stop joining in the
fun!

8. Dreadful stare by Brown on a Rangers player. Booked!


9. Oh what's that, an accidental clash of heads between McManus and
Cousin, quick get the medics on.

10. Shame young McManus had to be replaced, I hope he's fit in time
for the next Scotland game. Oh look, another accidental clash between
O'Dea and Cousin. I hope Cousin is ok.

11. What's this someone tying their laces without my permission.
Right Kennedy, you're booked.

12. What a goal by Barry and look at the 20 man celebration by the
players and all their coaching staff off the pitch. It's normally a
booking for leaving the field of play but come on, two nil to the
Teddies, just go with the flow!

13. I see the wee traitor McGeady is coming on as a sub. I'll soon
get him.

14. Right, got him for sticking his calf into McCulloch's boot. Done!


15. Big Davie Weir is down holding his face with his fellow bears
pointing at Jarosik. I can only assume known hardman Jarosik has
jabbed one of his blonde locks into Big Davie's left eye almost
causing the classy defender to lose it. I'll have none of that.
Booked!

16. Barry is doing a tremendous job not only for the home team but
also acting as an assistant referee and pointing out little incidents
that I may have missed. I give him a friendly wee pat on the backside
and advise him that I'll thank him in kind after the match!

17. I check my notepad to see I've booked 6 Tim, err Celtic players
and not one from the home team. To avoid conspiracy theories I better
book a couple of Rangers players now that the game is all but over.

18. Oh ya beauty a penalty. I ask Barry if I can take it but he says
the SFA might not to be happy after Gordon Nice's recent comments and
it would be better for all concerned if didn't.

19. GOAL. Go on the wee man and there's me with a tenner on three
nil!

20. Handbag incident near the end allows me the ideal moment to book
a couple of home players. I caution those two fine upstanding pillars
of the Methodist community before Barry advises me to send that Boruc
off. I check my notepad to find I hadn't booked him earlier, blast,
first mistake of the day!

21. Naylor pulls a funny face and O'Dea is well, you know, Irish so
both of them are booked for good measure. Wow 9-2 in cautions to the
followers of Rome, I'll get a standing ovation at the next referee's
meeting!

22. Final whistle goes and going by the Rangers players comments I've
had a great match. Boruc doesn't look too happy as he leaves the
pitch but still takes time out to shout over 'Sikora' to me as he
runs up the tunnel. Must be Polish for good game!

23. Leave the famous ground with hearty handshakes from the home
officials all round, although they do try their best to get me along
to their post-match celebrations. I have to decline their fine offer
as it's an early night for me tonight as I've got a service first
thing in the morning.

[pennywellhibby]

Originally Posted by ChopperLaw
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Mike McCurry Referee

*

Ace referee Mick McFlurry takes you step by step through a typical
Old Firm day for the match referee:


1. Always a bit of a sleepless night, the night before an Old Firm
game so I find myself wide awake at 4.30am. Being a man of the cloth
I decide to spend some time reading extracts from my bible,
particularly the parts about treating others as they treat you and
loving thy neighbours.

2. Arrive at my favourite ground in the entire world where the
hospitality displayed by all is first class. Receive warm embrace
from Walter (we go back a long way) and hear one or two tremendously
funny tales from the cheeky wee chappy McCoist, who happily poses for
pictures and signs autographs for some of my relatives. What a guy.

3. Go into the away dressing room to share a few words just prior to
kick off but find Father Burns in the middle of some Rosemary prayer
ritual with the players and am shocked to find even the Protestants
giving it Hail Mary! Being a Christian, Father Burns extends an
invite to myself to join in and share a pre-match spiritual moment to
which I politely decline and quickly hurry out the room. I may be a
Christian but I'm not THAT type of Christian!

4. Walk onto the pitch with the teams and am immediately greeted by a
tremendous roar from the most loyal fans in world football. Get the
two captains together to toss the coin and receive a friendly grip of
the hand from Barry.

5. I intend to put my mark on the game as soon as possible and that
young Australian ruffian McDonald provides me with the ideal
opportunity after he puts his ankle into the home keepers studs and I
present him with a yellow card. The ex-convict pleads his case by
stating McGregor stamped on his foot but I laugh it off as there's no
way a fine young Presbyterian chap would do such a thing. To prove my
point three home team players immediately surround McDonald and offer
him a friendly welcome to our place shove on the chest. Great guys.

6. A little while later that Italian thug offers me no option other
than to show my second yellow card of the match. Come on an Italian
with his hair dyed red, its obvious one of Rome's sons has been sent
to wind up the people from God's chosen country and I will not
tolerate this.

7. Just on the half hour mark and bang, goal for the Teddies! I see
young Hutton running all the way past the away support giving them a
friendly wave before jumping on top of Spain's finest evangelical
follower. It really takes all my restraint to stop joining in the
fun!

8. Dreadful stare by Brown on a Rangers player. Booked!


9. Oh what's that, an accidental clash of heads between McManus and
Cousin, quick get the medics on.

10. Shame young McManus had to be replaced, I hope he's fit in time
for the next Scotland game. Oh look, another accidental clash between
O'Dea and Cousin. I hope Cousin is ok.

11. What's this someone tying their laces without my permission.
Right Kennedy, you're booked.

12. What a goal by Barry and look at the 20 man celebration by the
players and all their coaching staff off the pitch. It's normally a
booking for leaving the field of play but come on, two nil to the
Teddies, just go with the flow!

13. I see the wee traitor McGeady is coming on as a sub. I'll soon
get him.

14. Right, got him for sticking his calf into McCulloch's boot. Done!


15. Big Davie Weir is down holding his face with his fellow bears
pointing at Jarosik. I can only assume known hardman Jarosik has
jabbed one of his blonde locks into Big Davie's left eye almost
causing the classy defender to lose it. I'll have none of that.
Booked!

16. Barry is doing a tremendous job not only for the home team but
also acting as an assistant referee and pointing out little incidents
that I may have missed. I give him a friendly wee pat on the backside
and advise him that I'll thank him in kind after the match!

17. I check my notepad to see I've booked 6 Tim, err Celtic players
and not one from the home team. To avoid conspiracy theories I better
book a couple of Rangers players now that the game is all but over.

18. Oh ya beauty a penalty. I ask Barry if I can take it but he says
the SFA might not to be happy after Gordon Nice's recent comments and
it would be better for all concerned if didn't.

19. GOAL. Go on the wee man and there's me with a tenner on three
nil!

20. Handbag incident near the end allows me the ideal moment to book
a couple of home players. I caution those two fine upstanding pillars
of the Methodist community before Barry advises me to send that Boruc
off. I check my notepad to find I hadn't booked him earlier, blast,
first mistake of the day!

21. Naylor pulls a funny face and O'Dea is well, you know, Irish so
both of them are booked for good measure. Wow 9-2 in cautions to the
followers of Rome, I'll get a standing ovation at the next referee's
meeting!

22. Final whistle goes and going by the Rangers players comments I've
had a great match. Boruc doesn't look too happy as he leaves the
pitch but still takes time out to shout over 'Sikora' to me as he
runs up the tunnel. Must be Polish for good game!

23. Leave the famous ground with hearty handshakes from the home
officials all round, although they do try their best to get me along
to their post-match celebrations. I have to decline their fine offer
as it's an early night for me tonight as I've got a service first
thing in the morning.

so wheres the hibs content then
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[ChopperLaw]

Originally Posted by pennywellhibby
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so wheres the hibs content then
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Yawn Yawn..... oow sorry ... No hibs content ....

[east calder hibby]

Originally Posted by ChopperLaw
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Mike McCurry Referee

*

Ace referee Mick McFlurry takes you step by step through a typical
Old Firm day for the match referee:


1. Always a bit of a sleepless night, the night before an Old Firm
game so I find myself wide awake at 4.30am. Being a man of the cloth
I decide to spend some time reading extracts from my bible,
particularly the parts about treating others as they treat you and
loving thy neighbours.

2. Arrive at my favourite ground in the entire world where the
hospitality displayed by all is first class. Receive warm embrace
from Walter (we go back a long way) and hear one or two tremendously
funny tales from the cheeky wee chappy McCoist, who happily poses for
pictures and signs autographs for some of my relatives. What a guy.

3. Go into the away dressing room to share a few words just prior to
kick off but find Father Burns in the middle of some Rosemary prayer
ritual with the players and am shocked to find even the Protestants
giving it Hail Mary! Being a Christian, Father Burns extends an
invite to myself to join in and share a pre-match spiritual moment to
which I politely decline and quickly hurry out the room. I may be a
Christian but I'm not THAT type of Christian!

4. Walk onto the pitch with the teams and am immediately greeted by a
tremendous roar from the most loyal fans in world football. Get the
two captains together to toss the coin and receive a friendly grip of
the hand from Barry.

5. I intend to put my mark on the game as soon as possible and that
young Australian ruffian McDonald provides me with the ideal
opportunity after he puts his ankle into the home keepers studs and I
present him with a yellow card. The ex-convict pleads his case by
stating McGregor stamped on his foot but I laugh it off as there's no
way a fine young Presbyterian chap would do such a thing. To prove my
point three home team players immediately surround McDonald and offer
him a friendly welcome to our place shove on the chest. Great guys.

6. A little while later that Italian thug offers me no option other
than to show my second yellow card of the match. Come on an Italian
with his hair dyed red, its obvious one of Rome's sons has been sent
to wind up the people from God's chosen country and I will not
tolerate this.

7. Just on the half hour mark and bang, goal for the Teddies! I see
young Hutton running all the way past the away support giving them a
friendly wave before jumping on top of Spain's finest evangelical
follower. It really takes all my restraint to stop joining in the
fun!

8. Dreadful stare by Brown on a Rangers player. Booked!


9. Oh what's that, an accidental clash of heads between McManus and
Cousin, quick get the medics on.

10. Shame young McManus had to be replaced, I hope he's fit in time
for the next Scotland game. Oh look, another accidental clash between
O'Dea and Cousin. I hope Cousin is ok.

11. What's this someone tying their laces without my permission.
Right Kennedy, you're booked.

12. What a goal by Barry and look at the 20 man celebration by the
players and all their coaching staff off the pitch. It's normally a
booking for leaving the field of play but come on, two nil to the
Teddies, just go with the flow!

13. I see the wee traitor McGeady is coming on as a sub. I'll soon
get him.

14. Right, got him for sticking his calf into McCulloch's boot. Done!


15. Big Davie Weir is down holding his face with his fellow bears
pointing at Jarosik. I can only assume known hardman Jarosik has
jabbed one of his blonde locks into Big Davie's left eye almost
causing the classy defender to lose it. I'll have none of that.
Booked!

16. Barry is doing a tremendous job not only for the home team but
also acting as an assistant referee and pointing out little incidents
that I may have missed. I give him a friendly wee pat on the backside
and advise him that I'll thank him in kind after the match!

17. I check my notepad to see I've booked 6 Tim, err Celtic players
and not one from the home team. To avoid conspiracy theories I better
book a couple of Rangers players now that the game is all but over.

18. Oh ya beauty a penalty. I ask Barry if I can take it but he says
the SFA might not to be happy after Gordon Nice's recent comments and
it would be better for all concerned if didn't.

19. GOAL. Go on the wee man and there's me with a tenner on three
nil!

20. Handbag incident near the end allows me the ideal moment to book
a couple of home players. I caution those two fine upstanding pillars
of the Methodist community before Barry advises me to send that Boruc
off. I check my notepad to find I hadn't booked him earlier, blast,
first mistake of the day!

21. Naylor pulls a funny face and O'Dea is well, you know, Irish so
both of them are booked for good measure. Wow 9-2 in cautions to the
followers of Rome, I'll get a standing ovation at the next referee's
meeting!

22. Final whistle goes and going by the Rangers players comments I've
had a great match. Boruc doesn't look too happy as he leaves the
pitch but still takes time out to shout over 'Sikora' to me as he
runs up the tunnel. Must be Polish for good game!

23. Leave the famous ground with hearty handshakes from the home
officials all round, although they do try their best to get me along
to their post-match celebrations. I have to decline their fine offer
as it's an early night for me tonight as I've got a service first
thing in the morning.

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.




To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.