Things Burdz Say........(again) - HibeesBounce.com

**Zitelli`s Heid!** · 15-07-07, 22:44

This old chestnut thread never ceases to make me spit coffee on the screen........

Tonight, mine came out with this wee gem.

"Yo ho ho and a gottle of geer! That`s what Pirates say, isn`t it?"...............When I laughed she said......."No, that`s not it......Oh AAR Oh AAR, what have we got here then?"

Dear, oh friggin` dear.

**Forzahibs** · 15-07-07, 22:49

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yndKF-6GPGQ[/youtube]

**cavalier** · 15-07-07, 22:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forzahibs

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yndKF-6GPGQ[/youtube]

School leavers dance D?

**Forzahibs** · 15-07-07, 22:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by cavalier

School leavers dance D?

Nah no quite

**brianmac** · 15-07-07, 22:56

Mine asked why they had a statue of a grenade outside the royal mail when there was a photo of one placed nearer the front of the picture of their sorting depot after a bomb scare the other day

**hixxy220** · 15-07-07, 23:28

Mine just says too much!!

**PILTONSTANY** · 15-07-07, 23:30

Are ye in yet?

**Dr Shrink** · 16-07-07, 00:42

This will take some beating.

Someone I know, let’s just call her Mrs Shrink for the purpose of this story, is moaning at me ermmmmmmmm I mean her husband to phone and book a restaurant.

Him. “Why don’t you phone and book it – I’m in the shower”
Her “ Because I don’t know the telephone number you idiot.”
Him “Neither do I. Phone Directory Enquiries, that’s what I’d have to do anyway”
Her “For God’s sake. Do I have to do everything?”
Him “Yes”
Her….. press press press etc etc and then on speakerphone. “Hello? Is that Directory Enquiries?”
Directory Enquiries “ Yes it is. What name please?”
Her “What?”
Directory Enquiries “Name please, and address”
Her “ Oh. Erm. Mrs Shrink, at (gives own address)
Robot Voice “The number you require is……… (gives home phone number)”

Cue hysterical laughter from shower.

Mrs Shrink. “Fcuk off”

**Hibs_Lass** · 16-07-07, 08:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr Shrink

This will take some beating.

Someone I know, let’s just call her Mrs Shrink for the purpose of this story, is moaning at me ermmmmmmmm I mean her husband to phone and book a restaurant.

Him. “Why don’t you phone and book it – I’m in the shower”
Her “ Because I don’t know the telephone number you idiot.”
Him “Neither do I. Phone Directory Enquiries, that’s what I’d have to do anyway”
Her “For God’s sake. Do I have to do everything?”
Him “Yes”
Her….. press press press etc etc and then on speakerphone. “Hello? Is that Directory Enquiries?”
Directory Enquiries “ Yes it is. What name please?”
Her “What?”
Directory Enquiries “Name please, and address”
Her “ Oh. Erm. Mrs Shrink, at (gives own address)
Robot Voice “The number you require is……… (gives home phone number)”

Cue hysterical laughter from shower.

Mrs Shrink. “Fcuk off”

aww that helps beat the Monday morning blues !! class

Nefu · 16-07-07, 08:36

sorry folks

Nefu · 16-07-07, 09:21

Me - Linda called ,i said you would call when you got in

HOTLIPS -I`m awfi busy just now i`ll make it a quickie ( lucky Linda thought I )

it`s ringing i`m informed, 2 mins later (CLASSIC)

"she canny be in a canny hear the dug barking "

Me- not a word tears rolling down my face greetin biting my lip then lost it 10 -15 mins by this time I`m laughing that much i`m in agony wi sore ribs and that stupid chuckle inside that you know anything remotely associated with whats just happened will set you off again .

HOTLIPS- WHAT ! WHAT??

ME- Churchill advert lost it

HOTLIPS- It`s not that funny

ME- Back to sore ribs an greetin mode, WOOF, WOOF WOOF WOOF , anyway its all over now it will be our little secret .By the way where did Linda get that dug must be worth a fortune

HOTLIPS- Same as the previous thread FUKC OFF

**tricky** · 16-07-07, 10:17

I've just heard a female colleague make the following comment about some new work procedure -

' its not a science rocket. '

**beefy** · 16-07-07, 14:29

Mrs B was in the bathroom i was going down the stair to get a drink as i get to the bottom i turn off the lightswitch"Keith!The lights have just blown!"Im in the kitchen now"Thur working in here"i shouts"Well thur off im tellin ya!"

By this time am at the fit o the stairs,i turn the landing light on to get back up the stairs"Oh!! they've just came on again!

She didnae have the bathroom light on,she was pooing by the light of the landing

I chuckled myself to sleep that night

Jumbo · 16-07-07, 16:19

Mrs Jumbo's buying a birthday card for her neice, I ask her how old she's going to be ?
Mrs J replies "i think she's 9, she was 8 last year"

**Zitelli`s Heid!** · 16-07-07, 17:16

I also remember my 10 year old niece telling me that supermodels are so skinny because the suffer from "Verbosa Digestive"

Ozziew · 17-07-07, 18:17

one of my mates got back fi t in the park and told me about his ex who was in thier tent. They were listening to tunes on the old boom box on the middle of the campsite when she asks'is that stereo powered by batteries!!!!'

only a wummin!!!!

**O'Driscoll** · 17-07-07, 20:15

a female colleague and I were watchin the telly when the following conversation happened

O'D- Why is the mute button seperate from the others on the remote control

Linda - It must be for blind people!

O'D - Why would a blind peson want a fcukin mute button????

cammy1969 · 19-07-07, 21:59

was i the pub watching fitba and the barmaid asks what do the players do if they need to pee

**SoulBamRab** · 20-07-07, 11:08

This wasn't a bird but one of ma mates who should really be a bird he's so gay. Anyway going to hampden on the train one day and this blind women with a guide dog sitting across from us, he asks her does your dog alert you when the dooorbell goes? She replies im blind no deef son...!

Dunc89 · 20-07-07, 12:49

My mother, after having seen pictures of my friend's new born baby on Bebo.com, approached the mother of my friend in Spar the other day.

My mum: "Oh I seen photos of the baby the other day, lovely wee thing. My son showed me them on the internet, on that site.. what's it called again?"

Other mum: "Oh aye, on Ebay."

**SG7nil** · 20-07-07, 12:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by cammy1969

was i the pub watching fitba and the barmaid asks what do the players do if they need to pee

Although I'm sure it's still available on youtube, there was the sub who had a fly piss at the side of the park during the world cup. Thousands of people in the stadium and dozens of TV

s and he pretends to be stretching and he has a quick slash... thought no-one would notice??? Priceless

BoomtownHibeys · 20-07-07, 15:05

My mum told me i should book next years holiday on youtube. After a few minute the laughter stopped and my dad told me its utravel she meant

15-07-07, 22:44	#1
Zitelli`s Heid! Princess Fiona (alledgedly) Radge. Join Date: May 2006 Location: In Pilting. Age: 41 Posts: 2,303 My Mood: Thanks: 79 Thanked 61 Times in 43 Posts Rep Power: 11	Things Burdz Say........(again) This old chestnut thread never ceases to make me spit coffee on the screen........ Tonight, mine came out with this wee gem. "Yo ho ho and a gottle of geer! That`s what Pirates say, isn`t it?"...............When I laughed she said......."No, that`s not it......Oh AAR Oh AAR, what have we got here then?" Dear, oh friggin` dear.

15-07-07, 22:49	#2
Forzahibs Non Plastic Radge Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Glenrothes Age: 47 Posts: 18,661 Thanks: 2 Thanked 85 Times in 61 Posts Rep Power: 43	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yndKF-6GPGQ[/youtube]

15-07-07, 22:56	#5
brianmac I ain't getting on no plane, ya radge Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Hungry and homeless, please help. Age: 40 Posts: 4,956 My Mood: Thanks: 324 Thanked 103 Times in 81 Posts Rep Power: 11	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) Mine asked why they had a statue of a grenade outside the royal mail when there was a photo of one placed nearer the front of the picture of their sorting depot after a bomb scare the other day __________________

15-07-07, 23:28	#6
hixxy220 Old School Radge Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Too near Gorgie!! Age: 31 Posts: 1,672 Thanks: 42 Thanked 102 Times in 63 Posts Rep Power: 4	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) Mine just says too much!! __________________

15-07-07, 23:30	#7
PILTONSTANY Shameless Radge Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Edinburgh's Waterfront Age: 31 Posts: 7,491 Thanks: 4 Thanked 85 Times in 39 Posts Rep Power: 18	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) Are ye in yet? __________________ Football in Scotland is ridiculously poor value for money.We dont want to sit down. We dont want to be treated like scum by the stewards. We dont want to eat over-priced reheated stale pies and pay £2 quid for a bit of powder and warm water in a tiny cup. We dont want to sit behind pillars (Well at certain grounds it's ok). We dont want to watch guys who cant control a football. But that's what we get........

16-07-07, 00:42	#8
Dr Shrink Aged Radge Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: In a cupboard under the stairs. Age: 82 Posts: 8,220 My Mood: Thanks: 26 Thanked 121 Times in 57 Posts Rep Power: 30	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) This will take some beating. Someone I know, let’s just call her Mrs Shrink for the purpose of this story, is moaning at me ermmmmmmmm I mean her husband to phone and book a restaurant. Him. “Why don’t you phone and book it – I’m in the shower” Her “ Because I don’t know the telephone number you idiot.” Him “Neither do I. Phone Directory Enquiries, that’s what I’d have to do anyway” Her “For God’s sake. Do I have to do everything?” Him “Yes” Her….. press press press etc etc and then on speakerphone. “Hello? Is that Directory Enquiries?” Directory Enquiries “ Yes it is. What name please?” Her “What?” Directory Enquiries “Name please, and address” Her “ Oh. Erm. Mrs Shrink, at (gives own address) Robot Voice “The number you require is……… (gives home phone number)” Cue hysterical laughter from shower. Mrs Shrink. “Fcuk off” __________________ For the avoidance of doubt, anything stated in the above post is written without prejudice; is probably completely uninformed opinion, and possibly just a figment of my imagination. Readers should either ignore, treat with contempt, or simply accept the spirit it is written in, without recourse to huffy replies, legal action or threats of violence. That includes YOU.

16-07-07, 08:36	#10
Nefu Juvenile Radge Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sunny Leith Posts: 225 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 2	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) sorry folks Last edited by Nefu; 16-07-07 at 09:23.

16-07-07, 09:21	#11
Nefu Juvenile Radge Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sunny Leith Posts: 225 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 2	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) Me - Linda called ,i said you would call when you got in HOTLIPS -I`m awfi busy just now i`ll make it a quickie ( lucky Linda thought I ) it`s ringing i`m informed, 2 mins later (CLASSIC) "she canny be in a canny hear the dug barking " Me- not a word tears rolling down my face greetin biting my lip then lost it 10 -15 mins by this time I`m laughing that much i`m in agony wi sore ribs and that stupid chuckle inside that you know anything remotely associated with whats just happened will set you off again . HOTLIPS- WHAT ! WHAT?? ME- Churchill advert lost it HOTLIPS- It`s not that funny ME- Back to sore ribs an greetin mode, WOOF, WOOF WOOF WOOF , anyway its all over now it will be our little secret .By the way where did Linda get that dug must be worth a fortune HOTLIPS- Same as the previous thread FUKC OFF

16-07-07, 10:17	#12
tricky Radge Private Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Promised Land Age: 34 Posts: 2,265 Thanks: 1 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts Rep Power: 11	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) I've just heard a female colleague make the following comment about some new work procedure - ' its not a science rocket. ' __________________ show a little faith, there's magic in the night.

16-07-07, 14:29	#13
beefy Easy Now Radge Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: stuck between the moon and new york city Posts: 6,819 Thanks: 174 Thanked 529 Times in 239 Posts Rep Power: 26	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) Mrs B was in the bathroom i was going down the stair to get a drink as i get to the bottom i turn off the lightswitch"Keith!The lights have just blown!"Im in the kitchen now"Thur working in here"i shouts"Well thur off im tellin ya!" By this time am at the fit o the stairs,i turn the landing light on to get back up the stairs"Oh!! they've just came on again! She didnae have the bathroom light on,she was pooing by the light of the landing I chuckled myself to sleep that night

16-07-07, 16:19	#14
Jumbo Toddler Radge Join Date: May 2005 Location: Borders Age: 43 Posts: 87 Thanks: 1 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 4	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) Mrs Jumbo's buying a birthday card for her neice, I ask her how old she's going to be ? Mrs J replies "i think she's 9, she was 8 last year"

16-07-07, 17:16	#15
Zitelli`s Heid! Princess Fiona (alledgedly) Radge. Join Date: May 2006 Location: In Pilting. Age: 41 Posts: 2,303 My Mood: Thanks: 79 Thanked 61 Times in 43 Posts Rep Power: 11	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) I also remember my 10 year old niece telling me that supermodels are so skinny because the suffer from "Verbosa Digestive"

17-07-07, 18:17	#16
Ozziew denots radge Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Loanhead Age: 31 Posts: 105 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Rep Power: 3	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) one of my mates got back fi t in the park and told me about his ex who was in thier tent. They were listening to tunes on the old boom box on the middle of the campsite when she asks'is that stereo powered by batteries!!!!' only a wummin!!!! __________________ Theres only 1 Albert Kidd :YAYYY: www.lasswaderfc.org :YAYYY:

17-07-07, 20:15	#17
O'Driscoll Radge Private Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Livingston Age: 43 Posts: 406 My Mood: Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 4	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) a female colleague and I were watchin the telly when the following conversation happened O'D- Why is the mute button seperate from the others on the remote control Linda - It must be for blind people! O'D - Why would a blind peson want a fcukin mute button???? __________________ *Newtown where everybody goes around sniffing televisina or taking footbalina*

19-07-07, 21:59	#18
cammy1969 Baby Radge Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: pathhead Posts: 40 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 0	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) was i the pub watching fitba and the barmaid asks what do the players do if they need to pee

20-07-07, 11:08	#19
SoulBamRab Im Just Radge and used to be BionicRab Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Boomtown Posts: 3,845 My Mood: Thanks: 66 Thanked 35 Times in 32 Posts Rep Power: 7	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) This wasn't a bird but one of ma mates who should really be a bird he's so gay. Anyway going to hampden on the train one day and this blind women with a guide dog sitting across from us, he asks her does your dog alert you when the dooorbell goes? She replies im blind no deef son...! __________________

20-07-07, 12:49	#20
Dunc89 Roots Rock Radge Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Glasgow/Selkirk Age: 19 Posts: 704 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 3	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) My mother, after having seen pictures of my friend's new born baby on Bebo.com, approached the mother of my friend in Spar the other day. My mum: "Oh I seen photos of the baby the other day, lovely wee thing. My son showed me them on the internet, on that site.. what's it called again?" Other mum: "Oh aye, on Ebay." __________________ have you heard of the northbank highbury?

20-07-07, 15:05	#22
BoomtownHibeys Brafur Radge Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Boomtown Age: 26 Posts: 1,105 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 4	Re: Things Burdz Say........(again) My mum told me i should book next years holiday on youtube. After a few minute the laughter stopped and my dad told me its utravel she meant

20-07-07, 15:11	#23
Stu Maple Leaf Radge Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Redhill, Nottingham Posts: 3,392 Thanks: 19 Thanked 33 Times in 26 Posts Rep Power: