History of Hibs (through a ***** eyes) - HibeesBounce.com

**TattooedHibee** · 22-06-07, 13:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Some **** within the office who has many STIs

1875 - Founded by members of St Patrick's Roman Catholic Church, who immediately set about inventing the colour green. Beginning a tradition that would last for 132 years, Hibs lose the first Edinburgh derby 1-0. A reporter at the game describes Hibs performance as "the greatest exhibition of footballing flair ever seen".

1885 - Hibernians take an 18 month break from playing "to allow the world to marvel at our flair", and return under the name of Hibernian.

1887 - Hibs win Scottish Cup. "Many more to come" says the captain.

1888 - Celtic Football Club founded. Players, staff, fans, the Scottish Cup and other Easter Road furnishings depart en masse but plans to relocate Easter Road itself to the east end of Glasgow are shelved as the estimated 4p cost "wouldn't look great on the balance sheet".

1896 - Hibs lose only Cup final held outside Glasgow, 3-1 to Edinburgh rivals Hearts. A near riot is only just dispersed by police, with Hibs fans angry at Hearts blatant goalscoring tactics. ITS NOT FLAIR screams the headline in the Evening News.

1900 - Hibs introduce football to a very industrial Brazil, who's government immediately responds by recolouring the national flag. Its previous greyscale version is replaced by a predominantly green flag in homage to Hibs.

1902 - A second Scottish Cup win. "I can't believe we've had to wait 15 years to win the Scottish Cup again" says one Hibs fan. Princess Street is packed with nearly 200 people for Hibs open top horse and cart parade.

1914 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

1923 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

1924 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

1947 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

1952 - Win league championship for the second year running. "The only thing that could top this would be if Hearts were to lose the title on the last day of the season and it had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with us!" declares one Hibs fan.

1955 - Hibs invent floodlights, and are invited to play in the inaugural European Cup despite finishing fifth. UEFA states Hibs invitation is because "they would have won the league had the other teams not been bigger and stronger than them".

1958 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

1970 - A mesmerising Brazil side wins the World Cup, and players immediately pay tribute to Hibs. "I was thinking of Hibs when Pele was conceived" claims Pele's mum.

1972 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final by record 6-1 margin. The Evening News says the match is a "travesty for flair all over the world". All is forgotten with Hibs maiden League Cup win later in the year. "Thats the one we really wanted to win" says manager Jobby Turnbull.

1979 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

1990 - In the ultimate act of pity, Hearts attempt to buy Hibs. Tom Farmer steps in to save the club with fans rejoicing after he promises to make them "the most financially secure club in the universe".

1991 - Hibs fans boycott their League Cup win over Dunfermline, in protest at the negative tactics employed by Alex Miller.

1996 - Alex Miller is sacked, marking the end of the ONLY period in the club's history when the team has not played with the greatest attention to flair.

1998 - In amongst a particularly physical Premier Division lineup, Hibs are understandably relegated. "They were bigger than us" says sacked manager Duff Jimmy.

1999 - Attendances soar at Easter Road as Hibs romp to the First Division championship, seeing off the likes of Stranraer and Hamilton along the way.

2001 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

2003 - At a sunny Hampden Park 35 000 Hibs fans enjoy a feast of flair football as Hibs get beaten 2-0 in the League Cup Final by world superpower Livingston FC. 25 000 Hibs fans are abducted by aliens on their way home.

2005 - Hibs launch their new club motto: "We'll develop youth so the Old Firm don't have to".

2006 - In order to save face, some Hibs fans disguise themselves as seats for their Scottish Cup semi-final with rivals Hearts. Throughout the course of the game more and more fans disguise themselves as seats as Hibs embarass themselves by getting hammered 4-0. "I consider this a moral victory, as we lost with a great amount of flair" says manager Tony Monkey.

2007 - Reports that Hibs might smash their wage structure by paying Jessie Jones £50 a week are strongly denied by the board. Topless posters of John Collins sell out within 15 minutes of going on sale at Easter Road. "With a cash injection like this we can now afford to buy a barn for the players to train in" says Rod Petrie

Hope he likes his tampered sandwiches

**wee 162** · 22-06-07, 13:28

History of Hearts

Started of as wanks. 133 years followed of the same. Ended as wanks.

Short and to the point.

**1875** · 22-06-07, 13:29

Although there is no written proof said wanks were established in 1874.

psychocandy · 22-06-07, 14:34

lighten up chaps, I thought it was vaguely amusing for a yam. For a start there were no obvious spelling mistakes....

**east calder hibby** · 22-06-07, 14:42

History of hearts...

Founded 1874

1986 the end of the world

**THE GAZZETTE** · 22-06-07, 15:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by TattooedHibee

Hope he likes his tampered sandwiches

very good

may have been written by a jumbo,but you have to admire the creativeness.

**hixxy220** · 22-06-07, 15:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by east calder hibby

History of hearts...

Founded 1874

1986 the end of the world

for a jambo aye, i remember that year so well....... how i laughed

**hibbybrian** · 22-06-07, 17:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by jacktaylor

lighten up chaps, I thought it was vaguely amusing for a yam. For a start there were no obvious spelling mistakes....

I tend to agree apart from the reference to Turnbull - no need

Brainwrong · 22-06-07, 19:08

There was a thing on the Londonhertz site a while back that was similar to this except that it went 100 years into the future too. Quite funny for a Gunt, I thought.

**green_goddess** · 22-06-07, 19:39

Sorry, but I actually found it quite funny. Sometimes you just have to take things at face value, and that was a wee bit amusing.

**brianmac** · 23-06-07, 11:14

Quite funny really. especially the bit about hibs fans disguising themselves as seats.

Still don't understand why there was so many empty seats that day.

**Decal Joe** · 23-06-07, 11:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by brianmac

Still don't understand why there was so many empty seats that day.

cos there was nobody sitting in them

**brianmac** · 23-06-07, 11:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Decal Joe

cos there was nobody sitting in them

Bassa!

**Dub** · 23-06-07, 11:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Decal Joe

cos there was nobody sitting in them

Are you not meant to be off to some rock concert or other Davy or has Dan got it wrong again.

**Decal Joe** · 23-06-07, 11:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dub

Are you not meant to be off to some rock concert or other Davy or has Dan got it wrong again.

That's tomorrow mate.

Working today then off tomorrow, hopefully the weather clears up a bit but I just spoke to Tortolinizi and she says the Weather isn't as bad in Dundee so hopefully the further north you get the drier it'll be

**Dub** · 23-06-07, 11:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Decal Joe

That's tomorrow mate.

Working today then off tomorrow, hopefully the weather clears up a bit but I just spoke to Tortolinizi and she says the Weather isn't as bad in Dundee so hopefully the further north you get the drier it'll be

Enjoy yersel then D.

Colonel Kurtz · 24-08-07, 15:32

The sad thing is some weirdo had such a hatred of Hibs that he used a few hours of his wanking time to research the history of Hibs then then add his own slant. At least if he is on the web taking the piss out of us he is not hanging around his local primary school.

**HailHail** · 24-08-07, 15:40

There was me thinking the 2003 league cup final was an old firm game, 3-2 to the hun. I must have been hallucinating. He's clearly done his homework.

we were eliminated by the huns at easter road .

how original. Still, anything that diverts attention from the tynecastle pantomime must be welcome to them.

**HailHail** · 24-08-07, 15:48

two for the history of hearts.

1917. The british army, made up exclusively of hearts fans and players, single handedly wins the war on the western front.

1689/1690. section N and the CSF successfully defend Derry against James II and VII before helping out in the first ever old firm game at the Boyne.

**broonieboy** · 24-08-07, 16:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by HailHail

two for the history of hearts.

1917. The british army, made up exclusively of hearts fans and players, single handedly wins the war on the western front.

1689/1690. section N and the CSF successfully defend Derry against James II and VII before helping out in the first ever old firm game at the Boyne.

**Davy** · 24-08-07, 16:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by HailHail

two for the history of hearts.

1917. The british army, made up exclusively of hearts fans and players, single handedly wins the war on the western front.

1689/1690. section N and the CSF successfully defend Derry against James II and VII before helping out in the first ever old firm game at the Boyne.

You missed out Vlad winning the cold war single handed in his one man submarine!

Some of it is funny though, but surprises me why he put in about Hibs winning the first division with their relationship with the 1st div in the 80's

22-06-07, 13:28	#2
wee 162 Bounce Flag Co-Owner Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Sunny Leith Age: 34 Posts: 12,184 Casino cash: £13013 vCash: 10000 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 27	Re: History of Hibs (through a * eyes) History of Hearts Started of as wanks. 133 years followed of the same. Ended as wanks. Short and to the point. __________________ “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” Timothy Leary

22-06-07, 13:29	#3
1875 Vino Tinto Admin Radge Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Livingston Sur Amande Age: 42 Posts: 16,487 Casino cash: £10801 vCash: 10000 Thanks: 1 Thanked 8 Times in 6 Posts Rep Power: 35	Re: History of Hibs (through a * eyes) Although there is no written proof said wanks were established in 1874. __________________ trots van het noorden click here to help the Dnipro Kids - donation@dniprokids.com via paypal

22-06-07, 14:34	#4
psychocandy A True Gadgie/Gadgess Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: it's grim up north Posts: 1,410 Casino cash: £3871 vCash: 10000 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts Rep Power: 5	Re: History of Hibs (through a * eyes) lighten up chaps, I thought it was vaguely amusing for a yam. For a start there were no obvious spelling mistakes.... __________________ "You may not see me on the streets at night. But you'll definitely see my white three stripes"

22-06-07, 14:42	#5
east calder hibby Sky Telly Radge Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: in my mersey paradise Age: 30 Posts: 2,656 Casino cash: £461 vCash: 0 Thanks: 32 Thanked 35 Times in 20 Posts Rep Power: 10	Re: History of Hibs (through a * eyes) History of hearts... Founded 1874 1986 the end of the world __________________

22-06-07, 19:08	#9
Brainwrong Vernacular Radge Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Jist doon the road, laddie Age: 30 Posts: 2,570 Casino cash: £5671 vCash: 10000 Thanks: 6 Thanked 68 Times in 17 Posts Rep Power: 10	Re: History of Hibs (through a * eyes) There was a thing on the Londonhertz site a while back that was similar to this except that it went 100 years into the future too. Quite funny for a Gunt, I thought. __________________ http://www.myspace.com/clintomatic The twisted brainwrong of a one-off man mental.

22-06-07, 19:39	#10
green_goddess Simm-ply Radge Join Date: May 2003 Location: In the TARDIS, looking for Life On Mars Posts: 820 Casino cash: £2355 vCash: 10000 My Mood: Thanks: 57 Thanked 17 Times in 14 Posts Rep Power: 6	Re: History of Hibs (through a * eyes) Sorry, but I actually found it quite funny. Sometimes you just have to take things at face value, and that was a wee bit amusing. __________________ www.johnsimm.net The ONLY dedicated John Simm forum on the web

23-06-07, 11:14	#11
brianmac Am no licking that ya radge Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Hungry and homeless, please help. Age: 40 Posts: 4,799 Casino cash: £4205 vCash: 10000 My Mood: Thanks: 293 Thanked 93 Times in 73 Posts Rep Power: 10	Re: History of Hibs (through a * eyes) Quite funny really. especially the bit about hibs fans disguising themselves as seats. Still don't understand why there was so many empty seats that day. __________________ WE'RE DOOMED

24-08-07, 15:32	#17
Colonel Kurtz Toddler Radge Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Up River Age: 39 Posts: 77 Casino cash: £250 vCash: 10000 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 2	Re: History of Hibs (through a * eyes) The sad thing is some weirdo had such a hatred of Hibs that he used a few hours of his wanking time to research the history of Hibs then then add his own slant. At least if he is on the web taking the piss out of us he is not hanging around his local primary school. __________________ ''The Man Dont Give A Fuck''

24-08-07, 15:40	#18
HailHail Reggae Reggae Sauce Radge Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Embra Age: 30 Posts: 5,126 Casino cash: £14957 vCash: 10000 My Mood: Thanks: 169 Thanked 49 Times in 27 Posts Rep Power: 11	Re: History of Hibs (through a * eyes) There was me thinking the 2003 league cup final was an old firm game, 3-2 to the hun. I must have been hallucinating. He's clearly done his homework. we were eliminated by the huns at easter road . how original. Still, anything that diverts attention from the tynecastle pantomime must be welcome to them. __________________ www.iancolquhoun.org.uk

24-08-07, 15:48	#19
HailHail Reggae Reggae Sauce Radge Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Embra Age: 30 Posts: 5,126 Casino cash: £14957 vCash: 10000 My Mood: Thanks: 169 Thanked 49 Times in 27 Posts Rep Power: 11	Re: History of Hibs (through a * eyes) two for the history of hearts. 1917. The british army, made up exclusively of hearts fans and players, single handedly wins the war on the western front. 1689/1690. section N and the CSF successfully defend Derry against James II and VII before helping out in the first ever old firm game at the Boyne. __________________ www.iancolquhoun.org.uk