If you could kill somebody and get away with it who would it be?

[Seven Tattoos]

Murder is the most heinous of crimes and (note to admins) I'm not seriously advocating anyone commits such a deed. However, there are people in positions of political power who abuse their authority and they are bright, well-educated intelligent people and to quote Bernard Brooke-Partridge (the 1970s London councillor and guardian of public morals) 'the world would be vastly improved by their total non-existence'. There are also celebrities and media 'personalities' who really contribute nothing to society and annoy phuck out of me. So I've complied a list (of famous kuntz) who I would happily read the obituary of tomorrow with a justification of why they qualify for my own personal deathrow. I'd most grateful if those of you who are feeling as similarly bitter and vindictive and deranged as I am this November Manic Monday would indulge me by playing executioner yourselves:
- Cherie Blair; a mad-eyed, scary mouthed, greedy, lying fashion disater. Champion of such acts of litigious insanity as the Human Rights Act and has been known to sook Tony's boaby. She's gotta go.
- Tony Blair; a cross-between Michael Foot and The Joker, without the former's insight. His entire contibution can be summed up in one off-hand remark when he referred to the indigenous dwellers of my adoptive homeland as 'the phucking Welsh'.
- Ian Blair; this is the prick who oversaw the murder (cos it was an unlawful killing) of Jean-Charles Mendez last July and claimed he was not made aware of it til the following day. What kind of communication system is that? Either you're lying or you're incompetent. Or (as is more likely) both. Also responsible for a campaign of persecution of recreational drug users. Not dealers, not thieving skagheads, but people who work hard, pay their taxes but like a little extra mental stimulation on the weekend. Classic tithead.
- Gordon Brown; read Tom Bowers' investigative biography of this sanctimonious tollie from the Kingdom of Fife. The picture you will form is of a self-important, supercilious turd. I'm not best pleased with his phuckin' stealth taxes either and when you factor in the simple fact that he's a Raith Rovers fan like Craig Levein, quite frankly, I'd pull the trigger myself.
- David Cameron; just a light blue version of Tony Blair. Hugh Grant with a hard-on for 10 Downing Street. Every time I see his McCleaned ultra-white, gleaming teeth when he's being interviewed on the box my mind vomits a pizza. If you tolerate this then your children will be next indeed.
- Paul McCartney; this should have been done a long, long time ago. How can John and George be dead but this stupid kant with his wanky animal rights is still here, even if his commitment to Heather Akimbo amuses me daily (not just he's a kant but because its saga reminds me of how things will unfold at Tynecastle, i.e. for hertz read McCartney, for Romanov read Mills, we all know who is going to get phucked and who's going to do the phucking). I'll let Ringo stay because I like Thomas The Tank Engine but the soppy clown responsible for such pish as 'the Lovely Linda' must face the firing squad.
- Heather Mills; she's not getting away with it either. You've only got one leg so phuckin' what? Haven't you seen the knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail 'tis but a flesh wound'. The worst kind of gold-digging, lying, scheming harlot. The only nice thing I could say about her is her greed matches his stupidity. She'll have more to worry about than her lower limb absence when I'm staring down the barrel at her.
- Cliff Richard; because of all his records, appearing in films with Una Phucking Stubbs and that incident at Wimbledon in the summer of 1996 when he led an impromptu chorus of Abba songs. He's had it coming for a long time.
- Noel Gallagher; arrogant, self-important, slimy turd who resembles Parker from Thunderbirds. Rip-off merchant without an original bone in his repulsive Manc body. He also coined the worst rhyming couplet in musical history when he wrote the following classic:
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball.
Time to go.
- Liam Gallagher; the other half of the Ron n Reg of 90s Brit pop should face the same fate as his brother for being the same as him but with even less intelligence or charm. Quite a feat, I'm sure you'd agree.
- Simon Cowell; for being a kunt who I'd never tire of punching. Individuals like him with their self-obsessed, supercilious, self-important, self-deluding manner represent the very worst excesses of human nature in its rawest form. Or should that be in high-waisted trousers. I'd like to hear his smart-arsed, sardonical put-down when I'm the kunt holding the Smith & Wesson and he's sat on his over-sized celebrity 'arris.

So there we go, eleven people that I'd like to kill. Feel free to add your own, especially if it's the royal family or Jonathan King.

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by Seven Tattoos

and (note to admins) I'm not seriously advocating anyone commits such a deed.

fair do's but will need to watch this thread doesn't turn like that mate

[zondervan]

Scott, were you on the crack/LSD at the weekend ?

Interesting post though!

[cavalier]

You feel better now tatts??


Braw reading as usual.









Will Carling.

[Looby-Lou]

Originally Posted by Seven Tattoos

Murder is the most heinous of crimes and (note to admins) I'm not seriously advocating anyone commits such a deed. However, there are people in positions of political power who abuse their authority and they are bright, well-educated intelligent people and to quote Bernard Brooke-Partridge (the 1970s London councillor and guardian of public morals) 'the world would be vastly improved by their total non-existence'. There are also celebrities and media 'personalities' who really contribute nothing to society and annoy phuck out of me. So I've complied a list (of famous kuntz) who I would happily read the obituary of tomorrow with a justification of why they qualify for my own personal deathrow. I'd most grateful if those of you who are feeling as similarly bitter and vindictive and deranged as I am this November Manic Monday would indulge me by playing executioner yourselves:
- Cherie Blair; a mad-eyed, scary mouthed, greedy, lying fashion disater. Champion of such acts of litigious insanity as the Human Rights Act and has been known to sook Tony's boaby. She's gotta go.
- Tony Blair; a cross-between Michael Foot and The Joker, without the former's insight. His entire contibution can be summed up in one off-hand remark when he referred to the indigenous dwellers of my adoptive homeland as 'the phucking Welsh'.
- Ian Blair; this is the prick who oversaw the murder (cos it was an unlawful killing) of Jean-Charles Mendez last July and claimed he was not made aware of it til the following day. What kind of communication system is that? Either you're lying or you're incompetent. Or (as is more likely) both. Also responsible for a campaign of persecution of recreational drug users. Not dealers, not thieving skagheads, but people who work hard, pay their taxes but like a little extra mental stimulation on the weekend. Classic tithead.
- Gordon Brown; read Tom Bowers' investigative biography of this sanctimonious tollie from the Kingdom of Fife. The picture you will form is of a self-important, supercilious turd. I'm not best pleased with his phuckin' stealth taxes either and when you factor in the simple fact that he's a Raith Rovers fan like Craig Levein, quite frankly, I'd pull the trigger myself.
- David Cameron; just a light blue version of Tony Blair. Hugh Grant with a hard-on for 10 Downing Street. Every time I see his McCleaned ultra-white, gleaming teeth when he's being interviewed on the box my mind vomits a pizza. If you tolerate this then your children will be next indeed.
- Paul McCartney; this should have been done a long, long time ago. How can John and George be dead but this stupid kant with his wanky animal rights is still here, even if his commitment to Heather Akimbo amuses me daily (not just he's a kant but because its saga reminds me of how things will unfold at Tynecastle, i.e. for hertz read McCartney, for Romanov read Mills, we all know who is going to get phucked and who's going to do the phucking). I'll let Ringo stay because I like Thomas The Tank Engine but the soppy clown responsible for such pish as 'the Lovely Linda' must face the firing squad.
- Heather Mills; she's not getting away with it either. You've only got one leg so phuckin' what? Haven't you seen the knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail 'tis but a flesh wound'. The worst kind of gold-digging, lying, scheming harlot. The only nice thing I could say about her is her greed matches his stupidity. She'll have more to worry about than her lower limb absence when I'm staring down the barrel at her.
- Cliff Richard; because of all his records, appearing in films with Una Phucking Stubbs and that incident at Wimbledon in the summer of 1996 when he led an impromptu chorus of Abba songs. He's had it coming for a long time.
- Noel Gallagher; arrogant, self-important, slimy turd who resembles Parker from Thunderbirds. Rip-off merchant without an original bone in his repulsive Manc body. He also coined the worst rhyming couplet in musical history when he wrote the following classic:
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball.
Time to go.
- Liam Gallagher; the other half of the Ron n Reg of 90s Brit pop should face the same fate as his brother for being the same as him but with even less intelligence or charm. Quite a feat, I'm sure you'd agree.
- Simon Cowell; for being a kunt who I'd never tire of punching. Individuals like him with their self-obsessed, supercilious, self-important, self-deluding manner represent the very worst excesses of human nature in its rawest form. Or should that be in high-waisted trousers. I'd like to hear his smart-arsed, sardonical put-down when I'm the kunt holding the Smith & Wesson and he's sat on his over-sized celebrity 'arris.

So there we go, eleven people that I'd like to kill. Feel free to add your own, especially if it's the royal family or Jonathan King.

Brightened up my dreary monday!!

[Seven Tattoos]

No Zondervan, just sweeties and fast.

[The__Proclaimer]

Not biting on the Gallagher front.

The real answer would be all the rapists, abusers, drug users that rob grannies homes, rich pricks working for gas companies who gain millions of pounds in bonuses while pensioners freeze to death, hypocrites who use religion as an excuse to inflict suffering, scum that kill scottish communities by closing industry and moving it to 3rd world countries, heroin dealers and all the other evil bastards in this planet.

If not them, Jim Davidson will suffice.

[BionicRab]

Judge Judy, phuckin auld, self righteous, post menstral boot, that thinks she's the messenger of the messiah (or some such pish)

[HenryLB]

- Ian Blair; this is the prick who oversaw the murder (cos it was an unlawful killing) of Jean-Charles Mendez last July and claimed he was not made aware of it til the following day. What kind of communication system is that? Either you're lying or you're incompetent. Or (as is more likely) both. Also responsible for a campaign of persecution of recreational drug users. Not dealers, not thieving skagheads, but people who work hard, pay their taxes but like a little extra mental stimulation on the weekend. Classic tithead.

While I agree entirely, I'd point out that the person who in this case actually was killed was called Jean Charles de Menezes.

Liam Gallagher is an utterly horrible person, but I'm not sure I could actually murder him. I think I'll plump for Nick Griffin. Followed by - controversy alert, politics fans - Michael Moore.

[James.g]

whoever the fuck is that writes the stories for eastenders, are londoners manic depressants
or what? Nae cants ever happy on there, what a heap oh shit and we pay licence money
for it too. Feel like shuving my boot through the screen when i'm forced to watch that pish.

You might wonder why i dont just turn it over ehm wife and four daughters

[superbam]

Paul McCartney

Yes he would be near the top of my list, especially after that nonsense "Freedom" song he sung after the start of the war in afghanistan wrapped in the stars and stripes. I would not shed a tear for the pigeon-faced gimp.

[Brainwrong]

Originally Posted by The__Proclaimer

The real answer would be all the rapists, abusers, drug users that rob grannies homes, rich pricks working for gas companies who gain millions of pounds in bonuses while pensioners freeze to death, hypocrites who use religion as an excuse to inflict suffering, scum that kill scottish communities by closing industry and moving it to 3rd world countries, heroin dealers and all the other evil bastards in this planet.

If not them, Jim Davidson will suffice.

I'd lock them all away in dark cells on their own. Killing them is far too easy. THere would of course be a more sadistic element to this which would involve attempting to show them the error of their ways.

There's the great bit in TRainspotting (the book) where one character takes revenge on another character. I don't want to explain fully as it could spoil the story line to that specific part of the book. Anyhoo, that's how I'd do it.

[egb_hibs]

I'd rather give peace a chance.

[ME YA HA]

Originally Posted by superbam

Yes he would be near the top of my list, especially after that nonsense "Freedom" song he sung after the start of the war in afghanistan wrapped in the stars and stripes. I would not shed a tear for the pigeon-faced gimp.

yes indeed the boy is a cock

[snoots]

Wallet Mercer.

Whoops! Too late.

[The__Proclaimer]

You'd kill the man who wrote half of the greatest pop songs in the 20th century? McCartney's only problem is that he lived past 40.

Lennon, Morrison, Hendrix, Bolan et al would all be releasing songs with 'Busted' and raising money for Live Aid on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here if they had lived.

Paul McCartney's is a fecking genius. Even duets with Rupert The Bear can never take away the fact he wrote 'Helter Skelter', 'Eleanor Rigby' and 'Here There And Everywhere'.

[Seven Tattoos]

So by that argument would you advocate all decent song-writers are executed on the date they celebrate four decades of existence on this 'mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world'?

I beg to differ. Paul McCartney is the epitomy of bland. His first wife's range of quorn and other vegetarian type foods and endless campaigning in the media really got on my breasts.

Lennon was the real powerhouse, the raw passion driver of The Beatles.

So, to answer your original question, in a hypothetical (but not serious) way I'd quite happily point a Kalashnikov at Macca while the nauseating strains of 'We All Stand Together' from Xmas 1984 play in the background.

I've got a really pleasant mental image now!

[BionicRab]

Originally Posted by Seven Tattoos

So by that argument would you advocate all decent song-writers are executed on the date they celebrate four decades of existence on this 'mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world'?

I beg to differ. Paul McCartney is the epitomy of bland. His first wife's range of quorn and other vegetarian type foods and endless campaigning in the media really got on my breasts.

Lennon was the real powerhouse, the raw passion driver of The Beatles.

So, to answer your original question, in a hypothetical (but not serious) way I'd quite happily point a Kalashnikov at Macca while the nauseating strains of 'We All Stand Together' from Xmas 1984 play in the background.

I've got a really pleasant mental image now!

Oh christ on a moped, that was the one with the video of British and German soldiers playing football when there was a christmas truce wasn't it? I think PM just done too much aciod and weed over the years and has lost his marbles a bit plus with his former band mates getting assasinated (attempted) he must be on the vallies as well no?

[zondervan]

Originally Posted by bionicrab

Oh christ on a moped, that was the one with the video of British and German soldiers playing football when there was a christmas truce wasn't it? I think PM just done too much aciod and weed over the years and has lost his marbles a bit plus with his former band mates getting assasinated (attempted) he must be on the vallies as well no?

Nah, that was the "Pipes of Peace". "We all Stand Together" was the "classic" with Rupert the Bear. Get ready to cringe!!



Did crack cocaine exist in 1984?

[The__Proclaimer]

Originally Posted by Seven Tattoos

So by that argument would you advocate all decent song-writers are executed on the date they celebrate four decades of existence on this 'mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world'?

I beg to differ. Paul McCartney is the epitomy of bland. His first wife's range of quorn and other vegetarian type foods and endless campaigning in the media really got on my breasts.

Lennon was the real powerhouse, the raw passion driver of The Beatles.

So, to answer your original question, in a hypothetical (but not serious) way I'd quite happily point a Kalashnikov at Macca while the nauseating strains of 'We All Stand Together' from Xmas 1984 play in the background.

I've got a really pleasant mental image now!

That's a myth. They needed each other. Totally different songwriters as 'We Can Work It Out' and 'Day In The Life' show but the difference complemented each other. A lot of Beatles work associated with Lennon was actually McCartney's doing i.e. the whole 'Magical Mystery Tour' was Paul's idea and concept. A square couldn't have wrote that.

There was a thread a while back where I claimed McCartney was the Godfather of Punk. I'll stick by that. Nothing released before sounded like 'Helter Skelter'. So quite frankly I couldn't give a flying fuck if he eats lentils for his tea, he helped write 'Revolver'.