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On Friday I took my bairn to feed the ducks at Hollyrood park. Just imagine his wee face as a mummy duck proudly swims by with 8 of the cutest, fluffiest lil ducklings you've ever seen! Knowing what it's like to be a proud new parent I make sure every single bit of bread gets chucked in their direction for a good feed. What happened next will haunt me forever. A flock of vicious seaguls spy the bread in the water and swoop down, stealing the grub from the ducklings. Nasty bastards, I think to my self. Just then the mammy duck goes absolutely. I look over to see two seagulls tearing a duckling clean in half. Another gull flys off with a baby duck. One bites off a newborn's head with one swoop. It's carnage. After only about a minute. Mummy duck, is left with no babies only a few soft, soft feathers to remember them by. I honestly think I saw her shed a tear. Seriously, the guilt is killing me. I had to get that off my chest.
When was the last time you felt guilty? Spill the beans.
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Jesus, thats a nasty one.I feel guilty for you.
But seriously i feel guilty about things, anything, more often than not.Theres literally too many things to note.But after reading your seagull saga, i feel i should share an incident concerning seagulls and guilt with you.It was about 2 years ago, before i moved over here, when i worked in Clydebank. My warehouse was right on the side of said weedgie river, and of course there must of been about a million of these dirty flying rats that lived on the roof. Well we had a wee burger van round the corner that we used to frequent, but increasingly these gulls would get more and more aggresive and actually start flying down to try and get your black pudding doubler or whatever. Dont even start me on the mess the little b**tards used to deposit on the cars. Anyway one of our drivers brought in a black widow gutty one day , with a bag of shiny heavy bolts. The temptation to pick up this weapon of mass destruction was too much for me, especially after returning back to my car to see what can only be described as a John Squire/paisley pattern type white mess all over my car, ithought right thats it someones getting it. The first seagull i saw i pulled back on this black widow and let leash with a bolt.Call it beginners luck or whatever but the bolt shot straight through this poor birds wing, all i saw was a puff of bloodied feathers and a squeal that would chill anyone to the bone.The seagull went into a nose dive spiralling all the way down to the ground.I instantly thought shit what have i done, shit shit shit.By the time the gull hit the deck( or bounced of the deck), there must have been about 15 or 20 other gulls that got just clean into this thing.They tore it to pieces in right in front of me, bones beak and all. I thought for a minute about stepping in, till reality kicked in. Anyway the upshot of thst incident is,that even now living in Vancouver, 2 years on, whenever i see a seagull i think, shit theyve found me , there on to me, they know i killed one of thier scottish relos!!.Christ i feel like im under some sort of witness protection programme, like Harry Hill in Goodfellas.
Thats my story.
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