[TattooedHibee]

Originally Posted by Some **** within the office who has many STIs

1875 - Founded by members of St Patrick's Roman Catholic Church, who immediately set about inventing the colour green. Beginning a tradition that would last for 132 years, Hibs lose the first Edinburgh derby 1-0. A reporter at the game describes Hibs performance as "the greatest exhibition of footballing flair ever seen".

1885 - Hibernians take an 18 month break from playing "to allow the world to marvel at our flair", and return under the name of Hibernian.

1887 - Hibs win Scottish Cup. "Many more to come" says the captain.

1888 - Celtic Football Club founded. Players, staff, fans, the Scottish Cup and other Easter Road furnishings depart en masse but plans to relocate Easter Road itself to the east end of Glasgow are shelved as the estimated 4p cost "wouldn't look great on the balance sheet".

1896 - Hibs lose only Cup final held outside Glasgow, 3-1 to Edinburgh rivals Hearts. A near riot is only just dispersed by police, with Hibs fans angry at Hearts blatant goalscoring tactics. ITS NOT FLAIR screams the headline in the Evening News.

1900 - Hibs introduce football to a very industrial Brazil, who's government immediately responds by recolouring the national flag. Its previous greyscale version is replaced by a predominantly green flag in homage to Hibs.

1902 - A second Scottish Cup win. "I can't believe we've had to wait 15 years to win the Scottish Cup again" says one Hibs fan. Princess Street is packed with nearly 200 people for Hibs open top horse and cart parade.

1914 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

1923 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

1924 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

1947 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

1952 - Win league championship for the second year running. "The only thing that could top this would be if Hearts were to lose the title on the last day of the season and it had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with us!" declares one Hibs fan.

1955 - Hibs invent floodlights, and are invited to play in the inaugural European Cup despite finishing fifth. UEFA states Hibs invitation is because "they would have won the league had the other teams not been bigger and stronger than them".

1958 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

1970 - A mesmerising Brazil side wins the World Cup, and players immediately pay tribute to Hibs. "I was thinking of Hibs when Pele was conceived" claims Pele's mum.

1972 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final by record 6-1 margin. The Evening News says the match is a "travesty for flair all over the world". All is forgotten with Hibs maiden League Cup win later in the year. "Thats the one we really wanted to win" says manager Jobby Turnbull.

1979 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

1990 - In the ultimate act of pity, Hearts attempt to buy Hibs. Tom Farmer steps in to save the club with fans rejoicing after he promises to make them "the most financially secure club in the universe".

1991 - Hibs fans boycott their League Cup win over Dunfermline, in protest at the negative tactics employed by Alex Miller.

1996 - Alex Miller is sacked, marking the end of the ONLY period in the club's history when the team has not played with the greatest attention to flair.

1998 - In amongst a particularly physical Premier Division lineup, Hibs are understandably relegated. "They were bigger than us" says sacked manager Duff Jimmy.

1999 - Attendances soar at Easter Road as Hibs romp to the First Division championship, seeing off the likes of Stranraer and Hamilton along the way.

2001 - Defeated in Scottish Cup final.

2003 - At a sunny Hampden Park 35 000 Hibs fans enjoy a feast of flair football as Hibs get beaten 2-0 in the League Cup Final by world superpower Livingston FC. 25 000 Hibs fans are abducted by aliens on their way home.

2005 - Hibs launch their new club motto: "We'll develop youth so the Old Firm don't have to".

2006 - In order to save face, some Hibs fans disguise themselves as seats for their Scottish Cup semi-final with rivals Hearts. Throughout the course of the game more and more fans disguise themselves as seats as Hibs embarass themselves by getting hammered 4-0. "I consider this a moral victory, as we lost with a great amount of flair" says manager Tony Monkey.

2007 - Reports that Hibs might smash their wage structure by paying Jessie Jones £50 a week are strongly denied by the board. Topless posters of John Collins sell out within 15 minutes of going on sale at Easter Road. "With a cash injection like this we can now afford to buy a barn for the players to train in" says Rod Petrie

Hope he likes his tampered sandwiches
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